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Blogging Block

Yeah, yeah. I've always claimed it to be a journal, but let's face it - it's a blog, like everyone else's. And now, I've hit this huge brick wall which I can't seem to battle down.

Reading instead of writing has given me more insight than I'd really care to have about people in general. I have a broad group of people I read, including some not on my friend's list. All this, in a nutshell, is verbal masturbation. We flatter ourselves into thinking anyone really gives a flying ukfeh about where we grocery shop, what happened at our cublettes, what we wear, what we eat, and often our faux happiness. Show me a universally happy person, and I'll show you someone one step away from chopping off an ear.

No, I don't really want any comments from this, but I do at least know what's stopped me from openly journaling; it's making me just like them. Not only that, but I'm sick to DEATH of reading "me". I'm just sayin'...make up your OWN sheize, because I'm not one of those "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery" kinda chicks.

While overall, life is going smooth, my journaling efforts are constipated. I'm unable to write as I've done for years due to too much reading. Same shit. Shameful self-promotion. Pity parties. Life is great. Life sucks. Repeat tomorrow, only add dinner/lunch/breakfast.

I really care what someone eats for breakfast. Unless someone chokes, or has ice cream, is it necessary to give a full menu of the crap you eat each day?

Although I found this outlet to be an expedient and much easier format to make notes that I could /read/, it seems the more who read, the more of a pain this has become.

Does anyone honestly journal anymore? I've read enough bull sheize to last a lifetime. I suppose I'm sick really of the social aspect of journaling. Chronicling life has always been easy for me, and was here until the past year or so. I've had periods where I didn't feel like writing, but now, it's a matter of hating being a part of something I've grown to loathe for reasons stated above. No one writes about /feelings/. God forbid they say something "bad" or "negative". And God REALLY forbid someone writes anything arbitrary that might point to the people they read.

I know. We all choose each other, and that's that. Still.

With all my family stuff going on right now, it would behoove me to pick up and move to a secret location. All this verbal regurgitation, and no one there to hold back our hair seems ridiculous and self-destructive. Might as well /not/ be read by anyone; thus, no expectations.

It's not for me to judge anyone. Not even myself. But if I could have one wish for this whole journaling thing, it would be for more reality and honesty. And you can bet your arse - all comments will be screened. This is still my journal.

Just sayin'...

Comments

( 18 whispered — Speak )
lefthand_path
Oct. 11th, 2008 02:09 am (UTC)
during november you have a great excuse to write... and nada to do with journaling, too boot!
none_too_subtle
Oct. 11th, 2008 10:46 am (UTC)
Gah, I know. That's looming over my head, too. I hope some progress has finally been made in my parent's estate, so that I'm not daily bogged down with details of this family nightmare. I'm soooo ready for November. Did you figure out what you were gonna do yet?
lefthand_path
Oct. 11th, 2008 12:29 pm (UTC)
i have a few ideas but nothing concrete. i might just sit down on nov. 1 and totally wing it.
none_too_subtle
Oct. 11th, 2008 03:28 pm (UTC)
That's about where I'm back to, as well. I'm not real sure my original one is the way I want to geaux. Eh. Who knows, maynge?
lefthand_path
Oct. 11th, 2008 05:52 pm (UTC)
well, at least you have something to fall back on if all else fails. i imagine that up until the end of the first week you can safely jump ship to a new project if you decide to do so.

with the praxis II content knowledge test in November, I'm starting to wonder if i'm gonna have enough time the beginning of the month to make inroads on a project. i may actually outline something before november in order to have a road map. in my (HA!) spare time between now and then i plan on throwing some notes against the page. a crime drama, maybe. i could always go the old fashioned route and write a horror novel, but i dunno. my "crime drama" idea may be enough for me to get my horror jones out.

someone i read who annoys me deleted their journal, and before i jumped on the opportunity to take them off my friends list, they un-deleted it. d'oh!
none_too_subtle
Oct. 14th, 2008 09:35 pm (UTC)
Right now, I'm not real sure what that month will bring, as I'm actively seeking outside employment (aggressively). *sigh* I'd wanted to dedicate the month to it, but will not be able to as I'd planned. Ah well - things happen for a reason, non?
writerwench
Oct. 11th, 2008 07:13 am (UTC)
So basically are you sick of reading what other people have done, rather than what they think? I tend to use LJ as a record of activities from day to day, as otherwise I'd forget things that may be important in time to come.

But I see what you're saying - I think. Journalling does take effort, and creative energy, and if you've just read 6039586 blogs of the event-recording rather than contemplative variety, it does become a surfeit and drain your will to log anything at all.

I've found recently that a number of LJ friends/contacts who used to post interesting, thought-provoking stuff seem to have fallen silent, or reduced to factual recording. Perhaps it's the time of year, or the time of mankind, or the current global crisis - or just my perception?

I'm going to France tomorrow, will post on my return. I hope you'll still be here...

none_too_subtle
Oct. 11th, 2008 10:45 am (UTC)
Like you, I've used my journal for tracking the mundane, as well. That's not my problem. I'm having issue reading basically fluff that not only rings untrue, but is as ridiculous as my posting a pic up here in lingerie and writing "sexy" underneath it. lol :>

I've learned by reading, and I suppose some of what I read just turns my stomach. I wonder what's going on in those pea brains, if anything, and why we're AGAIN reading the same thing we read yesterday, you know? It smells dishonest. A lot of it. So all the things combined have made me want to just stop, look at MINE and question whether or not I'm guilty of the same thing.

I believe journals should be what the owners want them to be. Having said /that/, I feel I should only be reading in here for pleasure :D lol Yours is always wonderfully "drawn out", painting mental pictures for your readers and interesting, too. You do chronicle your life in your journal and that's the most honest way to do it.
padiwack
Oct. 11th, 2008 12:22 pm (UTC)
So why not just delete those of us who bore you...
none_too_subtle
Oct. 11th, 2008 03:26 pm (UTC)
Why do you say "us"?

I read more journals that aren't on my friends list than are. It's not about being bored; it's about being deceived.
padiwack
Oct. 11th, 2008 04:53 pm (UTC)
because I'm stupid to comment half-asleep and coffee-less - poor choice o' words? All of the above?

Ignore me, Doll - I'm not the sharpest tack today and I started it in a weird mood.
none_too_subtle
Oct. 11th, 2008 04:58 pm (UTC)
Tis not a problem. It's just a journal entry of why I'm having trouble journaling, really. lol :)
ayoub
Oct. 11th, 2008 03:38 pm (UTC)
I agree that reading too much can lead to a blockage in the writing side of things...

And y'know... Just sayin'...

;)

I loved reading this...
none_too_subtle
Oct. 11th, 2008 03:43 pm (UTC)
Right. I feel that if I /do/ update, it'll smack similarly of those I read and GOD FORBID that happens. I'm glad YOU understood this. I'm sure it went over the heads of many, particularly those who're insecure to start with.

I remember the OLD LJ; and that's what I miss. Back in the day where you had to be invited to join, where friends were really friends and we all wrote from our hearts, honestly and without manipulation. Now, any fruitcake with a pointless life can start a journal, complete with a make-believe life and we're supposed to swallow it. IF we read them, that is. I've chopped my list down over the past few months to avoid that very thing. But if you look hard enough, you pretty much see it in about 70% of what you read, ya know?

I'm just sayin'...truth doeth hurt many. lol ;-)

Of course not you. You're the most beloved on all the internetz :D
ayoub
Oct. 12th, 2008 09:18 pm (UTC)
Me?

Most beloved?

LMAO!

Seriously, though... Your writing will never smack of anyone else's...
none_too_subtle
Oct. 12th, 2008 09:30 pm (UTC)
Yeah, but if it did, I'd be forced to chop off an ear or two. :> lol ;-)
nsingman
Oct. 11th, 2008 04:00 pm (UTC)
Reality and honesty can be pretty scary, exposing us as they do. And sometimes, even pretty dull. I started this journal back in 2001 so I could read the journal of a good friend whom I'd met in another forum and occasionally emailed. I've met some fascinating people here (and over 150 in person), and their journaling styles are almost as unique as they are. My own journal, however, is more along the lines of updates and plans, in keeping with my keeping in touch with friends. It's real, honest and dull (like my life, and that's not something I'm complaining about when I consider the source of the "excitement" in some friends' lives).

There is nothing wrong with you judging anyone, including yourself. I don't know why everyone is so afraid of being judgmental! Are you supposed to be a value-free cipher, accepting of anything and everything? It's one thing to be tolerant, and quite another to be accepting. And here especially, in your own journal, you should feel free to express yourself as you see fit.

I find entries such as this one of yours, which are introspective and reflective, rather more interesting than fluffy bunnies and chocolate, LOLcats and even women showing skin. However, I will respectfully disagree that it is simply flattering ourselves to think people care. I believe that many of them do care, whether or not they are willing or able to express it.
none_too_subtle
Oct. 11th, 2008 05:02 pm (UTC)
Yours rings true. You write about your adventures and life, and I enjoy it.

The old "care or not care" theory has been put to test too many times, by and to too many people and people never fail to disappoint at the worst of times. Thus the problem with my age. Life holds very few surprises. lol :) I believe, however, that this apathy is cause and effect; and after you've read so much tripe, you start taking it as rote, thrusting everyone in that mold, and discluding what might be truths in lieu of what /is/.

I've people on my list who I only know in real life (thus, they never update). A good majority of those on my list, I know. Not all of them, but the majority. But I do read other journals of friends, and those who might've appeared interesting at first and these were my little conclusions. Or at least for last night, they were :>
( 18 whispered — Speak )

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