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LOL...from my sis-in-law

Only in here ...... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
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Only in here .....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
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Only in here .....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
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Only in here .....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage .
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Only in here ...... do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

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Only in here .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
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EVER WONDER ...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
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Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
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Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
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Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
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Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
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Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
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Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
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Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
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Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
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Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
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Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
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You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
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Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
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Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
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If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
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If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
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Comments

( 12 whispered — Speak )
lefthand_path
Oct. 30th, 2008 04:56 pm (UTC)
in soviet union, picket line crosses YOU!
none_too_subtle
Oct. 30th, 2008 05:02 pm (UTC)
lolol good one :>
writerwench
Oct. 30th, 2008 05:29 pm (UTC)
As far as I know, in England all the 'only in America' things apply as well. Apart, perhaps, from the Braille lettering on drive-up ATM machines, because we don't have those yet.
none_too_subtle
Nov. 2nd, 2008 05:49 am (UTC)
Ooooooooooo you need those :>
ayoub
Oct. 30th, 2008 08:19 pm (UTC)
:D

A lot of those things happen in England, too... ;)
none_too_subtle
Nov. 2nd, 2008 05:49 am (UTC)
Yeppers, and I suspect many other places, as well. It's just more common and ridiculous here. lol :)
xvfui
Jan. 2nd, 2009 08:12 am (UTC)
Only in here .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Funniest thing I read today.
none_too_subtle
Jan. 2nd, 2009 04:19 pm (UTC)
Funny and true! :>
xvfui
Jan. 2nd, 2009 04:23 pm (UTC)
George Wallace, the comedian not the governor, got off one of my favorite of these:

"Minute Rice is now microwaveable... WHY?"
none_too_subtle
Jan. 2nd, 2009 04:25 pm (UTC)
Funny :)
xvfui
Jan. 2nd, 2009 04:26 pm (UTC)
I'm signed in to AIM Express, but I have to run out for awhile.
none_too_subtle
Jan. 2nd, 2009 04:27 pm (UTC)
It's okay; I'm not chatting right now. Too much to do.
( 12 whispered — Speak )

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Here is Belladonna, the Lady of the Rocks,
The lady of situations.
Here is the man with three staves, and here the Wheel,
And here is the one-eyed merchant, and this card
Which is blank, is something that he carries on his back,
Which I am forbidden to see. I do not find
The Hanged Man. Fear death by water.
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Tell her I bring the horoscope myself;

One must be so careful these days.
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