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In the grand, traditional style of posting the first sentence of each month into a nonsensical entry, here is the updated 2008 version of the oft-replicated "Journal-In-A-Minute(tm)", wherein I look back, copy and paste the first sentence of each month, and realize how CRAPPY LIFE CONTINUES to get. lol. Doesn't have to make sense to anyone but moi. :)

So don't ask.

And no, no one ever did this in 2002 when I first started it, nor does anyone do it today (unless some of my friends snagged the idea).




2008 Journal-In-A-Minute: Dance Remix


[Begin transmission] While most people actually CELEBRATE NYE...four people spent ALL. NIGHT. LONG. reading my journal. I'd post their information here, but it would be embarrassing. For all four of them. Weeee...business in the front; party in the back. Remember when I was funny? Yeah, neither do I. lol But was reminded of it while reading "Biscuits". I've been on the horn, but have decided that I feel too /good/ to be busying myself up. You represent desire and enthusiasm. Photo proof that today was TOO busy. I've managed to alienate the two people on this planet who I'm sure - without a doubt - love me. It's all fun, games and McDonald's while you're taking a discounted trip on a bus, then realize too late that your seat mate is Charles Manson. WTFWORLD? They called it playful; I call it "woah it's snack time!" Lately, I've been completely consumed and embroiled with my parent's estate (and siblings). How about one word? YIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Awwwwwwww..I still don't know what to name him! [/end transmission]




2007 Journal-In-A-Minute: Dance Remix


[Begin transmission]
For all my friends, here’s wishing a happy 2007. For the rest of yas, I hope it's going to be a long, uneventful year. Last night was um. Okay. I spoke precipitously in my "no over-40 guy" entry. I was simply going for the wrong ones ;-) Should've read my horriblescope for today WAY before now...unREAL how on the mark it tends to be: Dear Terri, Here is your horoscope for Thursday, February 1: Flowers draw bees just by standing there, and you draw attention just by existing. Revel in the attention. If, however, some of this buzzing gets more annoying than flattering, be sure to put up your boundaries. Don't ever make the mistake of trusting Mack again. He's Richard made all over. Learn it. DO NOT FORGET IT. You know what? If you're sick, or have been, do us ALL a favor: Don't use that shit FOR ETERNITY to garner "special favors". In the /real/ world, I assure you -- they will not only hate you for it, but the only special "favors" you'll get will be a slap in the face. So...I really, REALLY tried to read my friend's page, but couldn't do it. Why? Because (1) my computer is old, tired and I'm on dialup; but most important, (2) WTF IS UP WITH ALL THE VIDEO/IMAGES/ETC. THAT DEFEAT MY PLACEHOLDER SETTINGS?!?! Okay. Let's just say you have been a journalist most of your life, and rubbed up against people that...well, your neighbor never has. People have asked when my birthday is. I've either (a) told them I don't celebrate (which is true); or (b) February 29th (to save myself every four years). I've again locked my super huge key in the laundry room. Of course, I can see it, taunting me, from our super locked windows but can't get to it. I can't journal openly anymore. I'm going to attempt to type text in here, that will wrap around my photo. Why are all the clothes for El Jay so expensive? I want a white hoodie and it's like $2349380905829058290. One morning, it's 28, the next, 65.
[/End Transmission]




2006 Journal-In-A-Minute


[Begin transmission]
OMG. While I think the true hard-copy journalers have joined the community, embodiment, I could NOT FINISH MY FRIENDS LIST because of all the freakin' entries. My hands hurt and I'm tired already. It's not even lunchtime yet. Dear AWBs: While I realize that people with whom we deal on a daily basis are often interesting and colorful, is it REALLY NECESSARY to make me read 60 pages of a statement, with you laughing and joking because this person is talking about the neighborhood crackheads? I want them!!!! Neat :> I didn't realize it until this morning, but my hands feel like those stringed sausages; they're all tight, swollen and not as nimble as I need them to be. The composition, the careless lock of hair in the front, the shorn top of material...all of it is beautiful. ARGH -- second night in a row, can't sleep, and it doesn't help that I feel like I've been hit by a five-ton. Greaaaaat. Kelsey's idea of cam fun; don't ask about the two fanger thang. The eagle might've landed, but the Mallards are afeared. Yes, I was in the hospital last week. Today was /extremely/ sad for me. Just like the goatman...never underestimate or think ya know somebody.
[/End transmission]




2005 Journal-In-A-Minute


[Begin transmission]
SCORE! I haven't been this sick in more than 10 years. Dear cruel and evil Mother Nature: We were promised 50-something degree weather today, and so I dressed according; however, JUST LIKE THIS SUMMER, you're turning out to be a tease -- I'm not falling for your tricks anymore. Since I have the bypass cut option set up, allllll those lil "JUST KIDDING! APRIL FOOL'S!!!", none of your eveeelll little tricks are working, for those on my lil friend's list. If anyone is trying to call me from area code 602 STOPPPPPPPPPPP. I'm at work. Kelsey has called 10 times at least. I'm bummed. Almost* as freaky as the jiggly butt girl. I shall, for the first time, SQUEE!!! in my journal. Do you ever...wander around all curious to your friend's pages, scroll down to their memories, and then, they've locked them all up so you can't read? There are actually people in the U.S. who don't know what an Icee is. Dear "Anonymous": Let me guess -- reading/comprehension was not your strong suit was it? I haven't updated in forever, but my very real question is WHY DID EVERYONE I KNOW WIN THE NANO WRIMO CONTEST??
[/End transmission]




2004 Journal-In-A-Minute


[Begin transmission]
Does that mean everything I see will come back to haunt me? I find it strange when 20-year-olds say: "I feel so OLD". HAHAH...the 'lunch I never take' shall be taken here, methinks. Dear El Jay: While you have been a faithful, loyal (ok, sometimes evil) companion for about three years' now, I've never been one to voice too many complaints until now. Yessssss -- It's been sporadically raining here this morning and I couldn't be happier. It took me...er, three days, but I finally learned how to make coffee (again) that's not so thick a rat could run across it. Bleh. Today's been gray and uneventful, which is a good thing. Fast forward to this morning. Two words:
Bite me.
I thought we wouldn't go through the "surly teen" 'tude! You don't have to be a car, baby...to be in myyy showwww. Today: The Dentist.
[/End transmission]




2003 Journal-In-A-Minute


[Begin transmission]
I'm a steady companion, spontaneous; communication style is extremely supportive, relationship role is non-traditional, TEMPERAMENT...HAHAH is easygoing, Romantic style is modern, importance of wealth...non-existent, need for independence -- extremely high. I'm not going to extrapolate on the event which occurred this morning with Columbia, and the reactions thereof internationally. I'm am NOT from URANUS...and that's that. I've already made the weekly haunt to David regarding my dream job. This is lengthy, evil/bad/xxx-rated and boring...to you. Since I'm troubled over this whole poet-but-not-quite-poet thing, I took the all-knowing quiz. Had to throw in some art, just so you guys wouldn't be completely disturbed. You Are an Oral Master! A hermit, who visited the city once a year, came forth in search of wisdom regarding Pleasure. Welcome to my herd of peepal...RICHARD? Unbelievable. Iffn I told it I was a GUY, the outcome would be different...EH.
[/End transmission]




2002 Journal-In-A-Minute



[Begin transmission]
Boom, boom, boom...out go the lights. So many passwords, so little RAM in the cerebral cortex. EH GADS. How to say what's been going on in this journal without first, boring everyone to tears, boring ME to tears, and revealing very sensitive information to one or more (or none) readers who might be following me closely on the internet? Migraine or the second brain? While driving (or seething) through rush-hour traffic, I am now completely convinced that every idiot this side of the Mason/Dixon is on a two-way, letting one another know I'm on the move. A few questions: 1. Do you pay for my ISP? 2. Do you pay ANY of my bills? 3. Did you help me FIND my current domicile, did you help me MOVE, did you help in ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM?!
[/End transmission]



Disclaimer and credit: MINE.

(Last year's note that I clearly forgot): Note to self #235: Make sure this year, your first-liners of first-day-of-the-monthers are more clever. Clearly, I didn't pay attention to Note To Self #189, as is evidenced by this year. I'm afeared of Y2009. This year went by like a drop in a bucket.

Comments

( 18 whispered — Speak )
writerwench
Dec. 10th, 2008 04:59 pm (UTC)
Wow. I've kept a diary on my computer since 1990, when we first got one, and reading some of the old entries does startle me - when did I get a working brain? When did I stop being a religious doormat?
I'm so grateful for the way life is working out now. Might well do one of these remixes, just to see if it makes sense!

This year has been quick. Very busy, loadsa stuff going on, but at super-speed.
none_too_subtle
Dec. 10th, 2008 06:35 pm (UTC)
I've done this since I've had LJ, and use only (or am supposed to use only) the first line of the month until it forms a paragraph. It makes me wonder WHY I'M STILL SO STUPID sometimes. lol Right now in particular...fool me once...fool me twice...ain't gone happen again.
ayoub
Dec. 10th, 2008 06:57 pm (UTC)
A fun read, though... :)
none_too_subtle
Dec. 10th, 2008 07:03 pm (UTC)
It couldn't have made any sense! lol Seven years of writing the first line of the first paragraph of each month a year...I need to quit it. :>
writerwench
Dec. 10th, 2008 07:30 pm (UTC)
I dunno. I think it's a good tool for starting the retrospective that this time of year tends to elicit.
none_too_subtle
Dec. 10th, 2008 07:35 pm (UTC)
That's true. And I do remember what was going on during each year, so it's kind of a slap in the face or a wake-up call...you know, repeating failing behavior, keeping around the WRONG kind of people, etc.
writerwench
Dec. 10th, 2008 07:42 pm (UTC)
What's that classic quote?
'Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it'... something like that?
none_too_subtle
Dec. 10th, 2008 10:25 pm (UTC)
That, too. However, my life seems to come up with new, interesting, horrifying challenges without letting me learn from the one before it. lol
writerwench
Dec. 11th, 2008 09:53 am (UTC)
Ah, the sheer wonderful luxury of having TIME between challenges to absorb the lessons from one, before the next slaps you in the face... if only!
none_too_subtle
Dec. 11th, 2008 11:55 am (UTC)
True that.
ayoub
Dec. 10th, 2008 10:35 pm (UTC)
Naaaaah

It's awesome :D
none_too_subtle
Dec. 10th, 2008 10:38 pm (UTC)
You're just sweet :> You'd think I would've learned by now BUT OH NOES. :D
ayoub
Dec. 10th, 2008 10:43 pm (UTC)
Naaah...

It's a stream of consciousness thing... I like those random things...
none_too_subtle
Dec. 10th, 2008 10:48 pm (UTC)
I like /that/...but these are first sentences from the first day of each month the year of. Why? We may never know that lil answer. lol :>
smacklyn
Dec. 10th, 2008 08:47 pm (UTC)
Cool idea
though I might have made one edit... oh just for grins *squints at you* *runs away*
none_too_subtle
Dec. 10th, 2008 10:22 pm (UTC)
Re: Cool idea
Haha. I read that, and laughed. Gotta be true to the journal, howev.
imperfectbrat
Dec. 11th, 2008 02:34 am (UTC)
In the grand, traditional style of posting the first sentence of each month into a nonsensical entry, here is the updated 2008 version of the oft-replicated "Journal-In-A-Minute(tm)", wherein I look back, copy and paste the first sentence of each month, and realize how CRAPPY LIFE CONTINUES to get. lol. Doesn't have to make sense to anyone but moi. :)


Can i put that as a quote in my profile (with credit) ?

Edited at 2008-12-11 02:34 am (UTC)
none_too_subtle
Dec. 11th, 2008 04:39 am (UTC)
Of course you can :>
( 18 whispered — Speak )

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Words.

Here is Belladonna, the Lady of the Rocks,
The lady of situations.
Here is the man with three staves, and here the Wheel,
And here is the one-eyed merchant, and this card
Which is blank, is something that he carries on his back,
Which I am forbidden to see. I do not find
The Hanged Man. Fear death by water.
I see crowds of people, walking round in a ring.
Thank you. If you see dear Mrs. Equitone,
Tell her I bring the horoscope myself;

One must be so careful these days.
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