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What the HELL does this all mean?!

Either I read this wrong, or my freakin' horriblescope has doomed me until the year 2011.
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Leo Forecast for 2009

The tables are turned on you this year with a strong planetary emphasis on your 7th House of Partnerships and Public Life. Spiritual Neptune has been camped out here since 1998 in a very slow-moving cycle that continues to inspire yet also confuse one-to-one relationships, including those based on business, love or even conflict. It can be challenging to find true clarity, for it's hard to tell when your perceptions are distorted. You tend see the world through rose-colored glasses during these years -- until 2011, when Neptune enters Pisces. This long-lasting influence can be subtle and perhaps you've grown accustomed to it, yet this year the action in your 7th House becomes even more intense. Chiron the Wounded Healer remains here until next year; the karmic North Node of the Moon entered Aquarius on January 7, 2008 and stays in your 7th House until July 26. Expansive Jupiter joins this coalescence of planetary energy on January 5, lingering through the year, conjoining the North Node, Chiron and Neptune in a slow-motion dance forward and backward and forward again. Jupiter's arrival can expand your self-awareness, but paradoxically by not paying attention to yourself. Proud Lions can be relentless in the drive for self-enhancement, but now it's your relationships that matter the most as Jupiter opens your mind, enabling you to learn from others.


Leo 2009 Horoscope - Overall Trends
A strong planetary emphasis on your partnership houses this year puts relationships front and center. Relationships of all kinds are likely to change and evolve in unexpected directions, and you attract new people into your life who inspire growth, healing and transformation. Strengthen your inner security through daily practices that feel nurturing and grounding -- then you can more easily open up to the magic and miracles that others have to offer.

Overall Trends
A strong planetary emphasis on your partnership houses this year puts relationships front and center. Relationships of all kinds are likely to change and evolve in unexpected directions, and you attract new people into your life who inspire growth, healing and transformation. Strengthen your inner security through daily practices that feel nurturing and grounding -- then you can more easily open up to the magic and miracles that others have to offer.

Love
2009 offers plenty of opportunities for attracting new love or bringing a current relationship to new heights. If you're single and looking, put yourself in situations where you shine. Community or volunteer projects, classes and workshops, and spiritual groups are all potential arenas to meet someone special. If you're already committed, you can reignite the spark by collaborating on community projects and acting on your shared ideals.

Career and Finance
Saturn in your 2nd House of Resources since Fall 2007 has motivated you to establish healthier financial habits and strengthen your base for the future. You have until the end of October to complete this process, so use this time to address any money matters you've neglected. In February and September, you'll get clear messages about how to bring your work into closer alignment with your values.

Health
With transformational Pluto in your 6th House of Health for the next several years, you've started a process of deep change in how you care for yourself. This is a great year for cleansing and detoxifying your system, and for releasing any self-sabotaging habits. For lasting results, address the emotional roots of physical issues. Pairing up with a friend or partner for mutual support can make reaching your health goals more fun.

What to Look Forward To
Magical, mystical and mind-blowing adventures with friends or partners are possible this year. February, May, July and August are windows of opportunity for physical, intellectual or spiritual journeys -- take the initiative to organize a trip yourself if an invitation doesn't appear. You're likely to meet fascinating and inspiring people through travel, education or spiritual pursuits.

What To Watch Out For
Neptune in your 7th House of Others could mean attracting your ideal partner, but also makes you vulnerable to illusion. Be aware that your perception may be distorted, and take your cues from subtle feelings and intuition as well as logic. Take your time getting to know new people rather than jumping into romantic or business commitments.

The South Node in Leo until July 26 shows where you're trapped by your own habits. This is yet another indication that it's time to step beyond yourself, past old assumptions and into the future. Undoubtedly, your life currently includes other people who can impact your direction in ways you never anticipated. They can salve your pain by enticing you with surefire solutions to whatever ails you when Jupiter conjuncts Chiron on May 23, July 22 and December 7. These same people could make promises to you that they cannot keep when Jupiter joins idealistic Neptune on May 27, July 10 and December 21. Although their intentions may be honorable, their confidence is based on ungrounded hope and blind faith. This can be tricky territory, for the spiritual trio of Jupiter, Chiron and Neptune can certainly be the stuff dreams are made of -- and the dreams can cross over this year to manifest as real events in your life.

Saturn's entry into social Libra and your 3rd House of Communication on October 29 is the beginning of a two-year phase in which you discipline your thinking and gain greater control over your day-to-day life. The taskmaster planet's subsequent square to evolutionary Pluto on November 15 initiates a long-term transit that can force you to limit your growth because you don't have the resources or time to do everything. You must make tough decisions and start eliminating patterns, people and activities that will not contribute to your development over the coming years.

Comments

( 16 whispered — Speak )
ayoub
Jan. 1st, 2009 01:26 pm (UTC)
Yikes!
none_too_subtle
Jan. 1st, 2009 01:42 pm (UTC)
Wee! You're the first comment of the year!

See how jinxed I am?! LOL. Yikes is so right.
ayoub
Jan. 1st, 2009 02:05 pm (UTC)
YAY!

Well, I hope the jinxing never comes into play!
none_too_subtle
Jan. 1st, 2009 03:33 pm (UTC)
Me, too, but we both know how my life sometimes goes. lol :> Doesn't have to make sense to be tragic or crazy!
writerwench
Jan. 1st, 2009 02:50 pm (UTC)
What a pompous load of balderdash. Basically, I'd boil it down to this:-
'For the next two years, you'd be wise to put more importance on loving and caring for others than trying to further your own career and importance. Keep your head down, be sensible, live within your means, don't expect blinding great miracles and huge drastic improvements in your life/health/finances. Sort out your priorities, prune out habits and concerns that are of no value to you, rely on your own common sense and quiet hard work rather than the promises of others."

So a couple of years of self-discipline and quiet, hard work lie ahead... not exciting, which means to yer average Leo 'Ack! BORING!!!', but you should survive.
none_too_subtle
Jan. 1st, 2009 03:32 pm (UTC)
Yep, it's ridiculous, but I bet I'm doomed to live it. Or survive it. lol Usually, Leos get better horriblescopes. This one just sucks and promises nothing new or better than the tragedies of the past year. Greeeeeeaaat.
writerwench
Jan. 1st, 2009 03:36 pm (UTC)
Well, I dunno... I used to be really deeply 'into' horoscopes and this one doesn't look too bad, apart from the 'be prudent, self-reliant, sensible and don't expect anything excitingly wonderful' aspect.

It's not wonderful to be told you're going to have to just slog on without extravagant rewards for a while, but it could be worse. At least this horoscope indicates you have the CAPACITY to learn and grow and survive this time!
none_too_subtle
Jan. 1st, 2009 04:13 pm (UTC)
I'm a much bigger believer in biorhythms.
xvfui
Jan. 1st, 2009 04:55 pm (UTC)
I hve no idea what this means - I don't speak astrology. However, at the risk of sounding pompous, may I suggest that my sudden presence in your life means that the planets are simply wandering through their various orbits as they always do, while good things happen for you b/c you're open to them?
none_too_subtle
Jan. 1st, 2009 05:27 pm (UTC)
Hmm...I'm not really sure, since it appears that I'll be stagnating - as I have been - until 2011. lol
xvfui
Jan. 1st, 2009 06:09 pm (UTC)
Inasmuch as stagnance is a form of filth, I see nothing especialy wrong with it.
none_too_subtle
Jan. 1st, 2009 06:21 pm (UTC)
I think that really depends on the form stagnation takes. Not always filth, but dull and repetitive.
xvfui
Jan. 1st, 2009 07:04 pm (UTC)
are you home?
none_too_subtle
Jan. 1st, 2009 07:13 pm (UTC)
At home, trying to recover from this freakin' cold I've had. Just woke up, and am going back to sleep.
none_too_subtle
Jan. 1st, 2009 07:39 pm (UTC)
It's all good.
none_too_subtle
Jan. 4th, 2009 06:28 pm (UTC)
Man you couldn't have been more wrong had you made two rights.
( 16 whispered — Speak )

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Words.

Here is Belladonna, the Lady of the Rocks,
The lady of situations.
Here is the man with three staves, and here the Wheel,
And here is the one-eyed merchant, and this card
Which is blank, is something that he carries on his back,
Which I am forbidden to see. I do not find
The Hanged Man. Fear death by water.
I see crowds of people, walking round in a ring.
Thank you. If you see dear Mrs. Equitone,
Tell her I bring the horoscope myself;

One must be so careful these days.
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