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And the hits just keep onnnnnnnn comin'

So the freakin' death mobile is still immobile due to ONE BOLT that not ONE MAN on this planet can seem to get off. To add insult to injury, I learned that there were bigger fish to fry regarding my car than just a lil old belt. Now, I'm having to strain my cap to come up with creative ways to pay this guy. I've been sifting through books, jewelry, movies, etc.; anything of value that can be pawned and quick.

There have now been seven unsuccessful attempts at getting that dreaded bolt off. Now, it's stripped, which means that 'Jack' is going to have to heat it out. God only knows what he'll replace it with. A friend of mine feels like we need to punish the bolt, each and every one of us and friends who've had their hands on it. It deserves to be punished. Or maybe the deathmobile does. OR MAYBE I DO. Eeeks.

I had another friend just call and ask if I wanted him to try to get the bolt of (at this point I can only laugh to stop from crying) and told him no. He went on to talk about his brother, and called him a 'techno-tard'. Gotta love making up your own vocabulary :D Tis what I luff about my real life friends; they're pretty good at it.

Open letters

Dear Bret Easton Ellis:

You got lucky in the '80s because everyone was on drugs. Please stop writing now, k?

Love and kisses -
Ter
__________________________________

Dear Good Year:

First of all, look at the SIZE OF YOU. Why in the hellia couldn't all you guys get that freakin' bolt off my car? I shouldn't have to pay $90 just for you to tell me you are made up of one BIG HUGE FAIL.

Sloppy kisses -
An angry customer
___________________________________

Dear Life:

PLEASEE turn around for a change. I can't take all this crap you're throwing at me. This is your last warning, lest I fire you.

Your owner.
____________________________________

Dear credit card company:

Like the old Japanese proverb goes "It is useless to push a cart sideways". Pretend I'm the cart while you try to push. See? Doesn't work, and now I'm laying sideways on the floor. How retarded is that? So just stop it.

A cardholder
_____________________________________

Dear Spawnlette:

Please stop acting like a teenager. Imma hafta kill you or have you surgically cut off at the knees, which will make you unable to drive your car. You're the one who chose all AP classes this year, so don't look at me sideways when I tell you to study. ;p

Your loving mommy <3
______________________________________

Dear Heater:

Please work consistently. I'm freezing my arse off.

Your condo inhabitant

_______________________________________

Dear Mother Nature:

You mock me by sending really awesome weather our way. Are you /trying/ to get on my bad side? It should be storming out there, but OH NO YOU MADE IT PRETTY AND CLEAN AND GREEN AND WARM. I'd like my insides to match your outsides, kaythnx.

An earthling
________________________________________

Since I'm all negative Nelly up in here, I'll resist to continue writing any more about my life and what's going on in it, since doing so really rams it home.

< /rantings

Comments

( 10 whispered — Speak )
ayoub
Jan. 26th, 2010 07:07 pm (UTC)
Love you...

I hope the letters make a difference... Especially the one to life...
none_too_subtle
Jan. 26th, 2010 07:36 pm (UTC)
I've been on this big, huge, "Let's Test Terri" thing since my parents died. Things have GOT to get better.
summercamp
Jan. 26th, 2010 08:40 pm (UTC)
And whomever pulls the bolt off, will be king of Alabama, just like the Arthur when pulled the sword out of the stone!
none_too_subtle
Jan. 26th, 2010 08:44 pm (UTC)
And it reads "Made In Hell"
One of the guys who tried to get it off called a little while ago and said "Let's just take the car off the alternator". lolol :>

From what I understand it's going to have to be heated first before extraction. God only knows what they'll use to replace that thing from hell.
farranger
Jan. 26th, 2010 08:50 pm (UTC)
Things will turn around. There's another Japanese proverb that goes, something something. I can't remember it, but it's positive.

I think you just need a foot rub. I'll send you a mental one.
none_too_subtle
Jan. 26th, 2010 08:53 pm (UTC)
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo! No foot rubs!!! I'm too sensitive!!

Things HAVE to turn around, because honestly, they can't get worse.
farranger
Jan. 26th, 2010 08:57 pm (UTC)
Oh that's right. You hate them. How could I have forgotten that. You already told me. OK...then a head rub.
none_too_subtle
Jan. 26th, 2010 09:00 pm (UTC)
AAaaaaaahhhhhhhh now you're talkin'. :)
writerwench
Jan. 27th, 2010 05:24 pm (UTC)
Another bit of vocabulary that you might find amusing.
Someone described Aspies as 'infovores' - I think it's extremely accurate. Just watch an Aspie on the trail of some information they want... bloodhounds have nothing on them!
none_too_subtle
Jan. 27th, 2010 05:25 pm (UTC)
That is o so very correct, as I've experienced it first-hand. lol
( 10 whispered — Speak )

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Words.

Here is Belladonna, the Lady of the Rocks,
The lady of situations.
Here is the man with three staves, and here the Wheel,
And here is the one-eyed merchant, and this card
Which is blank, is something that he carries on his back,
Which I am forbidden to see. I do not find
The Hanged Man. Fear death by water.
I see crowds of people, walking round in a ring.
Thank you. If you see dear Mrs. Equitone,
Tell her I bring the horoscope myself;

One must be so careful these days.
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