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Please read my userpage prior to friending me. That way, when I get all crazy on you for making an inane comment, you'll understand /why/. Also, don't presume to correct me in /my diary/. That's what yours is for.

All other "readers" same behavior applies to you, too, although it's rare I have problems from my "lurkers".


Birth family

I'm tired; so I won't get into details. But I found my immediate family on January 17. I'll post all about it when I'm lucid. I realize that a lot of my adopted family reads this, so unfortunately I'll have to keep a look out for crazy comments.

This is short and sweet. Just felt the need to start documenting now.


What happened to LJ while I was gone? I'm finding it nearly impossible to navigate around here. I've asked a couple of you to help, so we'll see if I can fix it.

Nothing much to say. I did talk to my daughter tonight, and almost cried. Long story. Then again, the past few years have been a long story. Perhaps I should start journaling again.

Oh hai!

Wow. So I've seen a lot of friend requests (God only knows why) and some gifts you guys sent. I'm sorry it took me so long to get to them. We all know I've lost my zest for journaling, and for that, dear readers, I apologize. My family kinda killed that whole loving feeling.

Lots has been going on, I just don't have that spark to update with it. Kelsey's GROWN now and taking better care of me than I, she. My Social Security hearing is coming up this month and I'm sick with worry over it.

My worst stalker has finally departed this mortal coil, so I don't have to worry about THAT anymore. It's a shame she had to die, but I'm glad I won't keep getting hit with her nastiness.

Someone side-swiped the funmobile, so I'm pissed.

What else to say? So much, but no time to do it. I hope this finds all of you happy and well :) You can always keep track of my feeble Facebook if you just want to read crap from me. I rarely updated there, except to plant a line or two.

Anything new going on that I need to be aware of? :D


How could I have just slammed the brakes on such a busy journal without a fair reason?

Sorry, LiveJournal. I have missed you, if it's any consolation.

Welllllll allllrighty then

I've read my friend's list briefly and it's so joyous to know that my serial killers group is posting like there's no manana. WTH. You guys get busy!!! Hahahaha.


ACK. I just lost an entire entry.

It wasn't anything worth reading, but still. :D

It's been 14 weeks since I last updated. A FAR cry from my more-than-daily rantings I've typically written since 2002. It's a shame that a handful of people reading have stopped my interest in journaling. I often NEED this outlet (right now is a good time, no less) for some of the stress and general unhappiness I feel these days (no, no, I'm not gonna need cheese with my whine).

It's nice, however, to know someone is thinking about you and wondering how you are. Thanks, Paradoxymoron. You're a good guy despite what others say. Ha :) Joking, of course.

Just popping in...

...to wish dawna a MOST wonderful birthday today!! You're one of the best people on my list, and have been for many years. I hope today is everything it should be for you and that your family makes you a great big cake. Yum. :D

(((love and hugs)))

First Day

Today's the first day at my new job. I slept one hour and can't decide what to wear.

What happened to my emoticons? Mandy? Eh?



So I've been reading my friends' pages and it's true - they no longer journal, just as I no longer do.

I need to start writing every uninteresting event which occurs. If I can't read you guys, I suppose I can always go back and read myself.

Today was another auction day, and I won't expound on that. Kelsey had to go to work early this morning, and has school tomorrow, so I'm hoping between now and then, she'll finally get some sleep.

We also won't discuss her driving and how many cars she's been through. I'm an excellent driver, so we can't blame this on /me/. :> I'm just glad she's safe each time.

I'm having trouble with a lot of neighbors who find "my yard" the perfect area for their freakin' dogs to do their business. I don't know what it is about this lot - besides my rock of power - but I'm sick to death of tromping through dog shit to get to the laundry, and have made it a point to SIGH and COUGH loudly when they're around. Mitzy's owner is about 7389473289 years' old and thrice daily screams C'MON LET'S GO, as if Mitzy speaks English. HELLO BUDDY, BUT THEY HEAR YA IN ETHIOPIA; DO YOU HAVE TO KEEP SCREAMING COMMANDS IN /MY/ YARD? I'm /really/ tired of him. Since I am, however, a dog lover, I resist any type of serious revenge, like OH I DUNNO RAT POISON? Can't blame the animal for the owner's stupidity, eh?

Nevertheless and despite what I'm saying, today's a fairly good day for me. It seems like the cold I've been fighting is almost gone, and I actually got a good night's sleep last night. Miracles never cease, especially when you're looking for them.

NOTE TO FRIENDS WHO READ THIS: Pleaaaaaase start updating. Maybe we can all inspire each other to write, eh? I'll try to keep up if you guys do. My friend's list is like a ghost town. I'm happy to see, however, that one of my formerly quiet friends is updating seriously. :D He's a good writer, so I enjoy his entries. And as usual, Ayoub and Writerwench are keeping up with their daily goings-on, too, with all the birthdays and phone calls and meals :D :D Everyone else seems to be quiet. Did Live Journal just become too boring, or were we all disgusted with anonymous comments? Hmm.

I really should do some work today, but am totally unmotivated. I'm through with today right NOW and plan on elevating my right leg and watching movies on Netflix for the rest of today. Those movies, however, only go so far...I think I've watched all the highly-rated movies, and now it's slim pickins'.

Here's a recent pic, for those who haven't seen me in ages. And this was AFTER a hair cut. Yikes.

And that's about all for today, or for now. :> Be cool and remember that if I can update with nothing to say, surely you guys can, so that I may live vicariously through you :D


Remember the days when I used to use this thing? I can't imagine writing down daily occurrences now. Seems like my friends have stopped, too (most of 'em).

Six days before my birthday

...and I'm clearly hard at work...

...and freaking out because my pic is being taken...grRrrr

I think it's fair to say that I'm grossly neglecting my journal these days. The least I can do is post recent pics, eh? Mkay, maybe not a hot idea.

Sank you

A big thanks to farranger. I really needed that today after yesterday's hellish events.


Journal? Life? What journal and life?

So much has gone on, significant things, and I've completely stopped journaling which is strange.

What I also realized this morning - and plan on rectifying - is the fact that besides one person, I talk to NO ONE on a regular basis. And failing to be able to contact one person with whom I talk to often, it stiffens my new resolve to get out there and reacquaint myself with friends. I've completely lost all of my male friends (which is stupid), and today I'm going to start working on building those relationships back up. It's ridiculous to isolate myself the way I have, in here and in real life.

Kelsey just graduated, and I'm unusually sad about this. They've already made the post-high-school trip to Florida, and are planning on another quick one in between Kelsey's job and school.

Life has been crazy despite its lack of people. Having Kelsey graduate, I need to rediscover who I am again. I can busy myself up with the help of my spawnlette. Last night on her way home, she stopped by and picked up Krispy Kreme. Yum. I haven't had those doughnuts in about five years. The odd thing is I was JUST telling someone that the other day and boom! She reads my mind.

Kelsey plans on starting college this fall, for those who might be interested. She works at Delia's right now, and is doing wonderful. She got employee of the month twice in a row, and received bonuses as a result. I'm very proud of her for not resting on her proverbial laurels.

The looming decision about social security has risen its head, and the statutes of limitation are almost out for filing. I feel like I have no more life in me, and that things are being stopped for a reason. Also, this is the time of year my parent's died, so it's a rough time for me right now.

Of course, there's no point to this entry and I've not included ALL the things or even a good bit of the things going on right now. Maybe I'll start making an effort to at least journal occasionally.

Occurrences and dreams

I had the Amadeus-watching-during-the-rain on a weekend dream last night. Only one person will get this, and when you do, call me. I have something of yours. :>

Hahaha...a journalistic surprise

Gotta love those bald guys...

I don't care how they groove it up...

...but a Hyundai is still a Hyundai and not a BMW. Nice try, though, yakawobi san.

A poet, ya know it

Kelsey's now ex-boyfriend texted her Shakespeare's entire Sonnet 90 this weekend in a sweet but pathetic bid to win back her affections.

Um...it didn't work. She's enamoured with her ex-boyfriend Seth, but claims that she'll end up marrying sonnet boy one day.

Go figure.


I hope you have a wonderful birthday, ayoub!!!!!! :) You are most deserving. Maybe your mom will whip up some fancy dessert for ya! :)


Dear God:

Thank you for that one. It saved me from having to do it first, and nobody likes a narc or hypocrite.

Karma on my friends page is now good.

Bad is gone.


Lady Gaga meets Fifth Element

Dunno why, but this is the #1 most played You-Tube music vid ever. It's freaky, but I've seen freakier. The music itself is simply average. :>

Snagged by ayoub

01. Post these rules.
02. Each tagged person must post Ten Things on their journal.
03. At the end, you have to choose and tag no more than 10 people.

TEN things about me:

1. I'm completely impatient
2. I dream (and remember the last one) every night, and they're freaky
3. I unequivocally love my daughter
4. I /could/ be a lil ADHD
5. My entire closet is almost all black/white clothing
6. I think idiots are purposefully trying to raise my ire in traffic
7. I forgive too quickly
8. I just chopped off about six inches of hair
9. I need to work more
10. I need to keep correspondence flowing with old friends who try.

TEN things you wish you could say to TEN different people right now:

1. I love you :)
2. You are lost in your own crazy head. Get out.
3. I'm glad you're gone. :>
4. Karma is gonna get ya.
5. I still think of you daily.
6. You're the best friend ever and I'm lucky.
7. I miss you so much.
8. I wish the three of us could backpack across Europe :)
9. No one /cares/ if you don't comment, so stop making such an inane comment.
10. Vegas, same time, this year. lol

Not all are on LJ...<---same, but some are

TEN ways to win your heart:

1. Don't correct me. I research thoroughly and ain't stoopid.
2. Surprise me :)
3. Keep me interested
4. Mutual respect
5. Show me something new :D
6. Be rude in traffic. It's the law.
7. Adore my kid <--agree
8. Share secrets with me
9. Be concerned
10. Love/Like me back

TEN people who mean a lot at the moment:

1. Kelsey
2. Pete
3. Scott
4. Nan
5. Mike
6. Penny
7. Rose Marie
8. Donna
9. Linda
10. That one chick at the quick mart :D

TEN songs that you listen to often lately:

1. ABC - ABC
2. Boys and Girls - Bryan Ferry
3. I Go Crazy - Paul Davis
4. Tear You Apart - She Wants Revenge (A to D)
5. Rock That Body - Black Eyed Peas
6. If You're Gone - Matchbox 20
7. Woman In Chains - Tears For Fears
8. The Killing Moon - Echo and the Bunnymen
9. Rock Lobster - B52s
10. Sadeness - Enigma

I tag everyone on my list (since most are now inactive, there should be about 20 of ya).

One out of 104834839204802

Since I'm pressed for time, I managed to upload a couple of prom pictures, but no time to work with them or post them here. I have pink eye, due to having eight girls here, the dust, perfume and sparkles floating around my house and change of seasons. Yay. It feels like someone slammed the corner of a cabinet into the side of my face.

This one doesn't count, since it's moi with pinkeye. lol

She's growing up so fast *cries*. She got employee of the week last week. I'm so proud of her. I'm a lucky mom, indeed. Of course, I'm not going to journal the near-tragedy of prom night or who caused it. I just hate that Kelsey had to go through that on such an important night.

Okay. Can't take the monitor. I need an eye patch.


Your T-Shirt Says You're Thoughtful

You're the type of person who will make a splash when you're ready to, but you don't like to be pushed.

You are secretly subversive and a lot more rebellious than people realize. You question everything.

You are stubborn and it's hard to talk you into doing anything. You like to remain self sufficient and independent.

You are persistent and have a lot of endurance. If a job is worth doing, you'll make sure you get it done.

Of course, there were only four choices, so this one's too easy for freaks to cheat on. If you feel compelled to retake a quiz just for different result, I'm thinking the quiz is your smallest problem in life. *cough*

Been up since 1 a.m. and this time, instead of reading all night I decided to do a little nesting and cleaned the entire house, including the refrigerator. All little trash bags are emptied, no more dust, cushions all fluffed, linens changed, laundry still going. WTH. I'm going to be sore as hell by this afternoon or tomorrow.

And on that note, I shall now attempt to take a nap. I'm on some other country's time zone or something.

Oh and by the way (danger ahead)

Nobody...NOBODY can blackmail me to be all EXTRA nice to them simply because they feel some type of entitlement since I'm on their friend's list.

And since most of the people I know on my friend's list (no kidding, and this is freaky) with this fugged healthcare thing, I expect them to STOP BITCHING ABOUT SOMETHING THAT IS NOW AND SHOULD'VE ALWAYS BEEN AVAILABLE TO YOU, SINCE YOUR'E ON SSI OR SOME OTHER GOVERNMENT 'HELP'. I have a couple of friends - like me - who receive some type of government assistance (I get the V.A., they get SS, etc.), and yet they claim to be deathly ill and not be able to afford healthcare and are sitting at home. WHAT THE SHIT, FRIENDS? IF YOU'RE THAT SICK, USE THOSE TAX DOLLARS. IT DIDN'T STOP YOU FROM GETTING MEDS, DID IT? Also, even though I go to the V.A., I paid my dues in the military, almost died in the service of my country, and pay the same taxes as everyone else. So yes, I have the right to bitch because I'm SOOOOOOOO SICK of "the others". And I can be, because this is my journal.

I'm sicker than any dog in my pack, but at least I can make it through an entire entry without whining like a bleeding...um...you know what about it.


WTH Mother Natures?

After enjoying a week of 75 degree weather, today calls for snow flurries.


Look, something new - a quiz! Heh

You Persuade People Through Emotion

You hate to admit it, but people make decisions with their hearts. Their heads don't play much role in the equation.

So even though you are cool headed, you know you have to be warm hearted in order to convince people you're right.

You craft your words carefully. You speak to inspire, motivate, and stir up emotions.

You know that once someone wants to be on your side, they'll figure out their own reasons for why.

Things I've Learned

Things I've Learned:

... that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

... that we shouldn't try to change friends or those we love, but understand that they can and will change.

... that true friendship will grow, even over the longest distance.

... that it IS taking me a long time to become the person I want to be... It takes constant effort and I am no where near being completed.

... that you should always leave people with kind words. It may be the last time you see them, and you can't take back anything.

... that you can keep going long after you think you can't.

... that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

... that either you control your attitude or it controls you. And it's better to control it than live with the regrets it causes if you do not.

... that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel or act ugly.

... that maturity is how you have dealt with life and what you've learned and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

... that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself- easier said than done, most of the time.

... that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you need to forgive them for whatever they do, bearing in mind that you'll hurt your friends too... sometimes without even knowing it.

... that no matter how badly your heart is broken, the world will not stop for your sorrow.

... that our background and circumstances may influence who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

... two people can look at the exact same thing and yet see something totally different than each other.

... that even when you think you have no more to give, when a loved one cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

... that laughter is contagious, compassion hurts you as others are hurting, sometimes you need a hug when you don't really want it, and it's ok to be silly.

...that your very best friends will hold on to you with both hands while you are fighting and trying with all your might to push them away because you are deeply hurting.

... that you shouldn't be eager to find out a secret. It could change your life in ways you won't like.

... the biggest room in the world is the room for improvement, and it's a journey to get there.

... that others can motivate you to take a very close look at yourself, and they may not even realize they have done so.

... that the people you care about most in life leave all too soon.

...that people are too quick to condemn, yet want grace and forgiveness when they make the same mistakes.


I'm sure it was the gross ass comment I made.

Anyway. So the deathmobile's water pump's definitely gotta wait, due to an unexpected and grueling dental incident that was taken care of yesterday. I drove home on a floating cloud of gas and lortab, and it's a wonder I'm still around to talk about it. At least /now/, I'll never have another dental problem ever, since this was the last root canal that needed to be done.

Today was the polar opposite of yesterday's hell. Kelsey decided - on her dad's weekend visit - that she wanted to come over here and eat lunch and watch a movie with me. I cooked my famous spaghetti with meatballs and we watched The Fountain. When she left, I cried. How often does a teen WANT to be with a parent instead of with their friends?

I feel like the luckiest mom in the world right now.

A quizzard

C'mon ... I haven't done this in awhile, and they pop up in my mailbox ;p

You Are Together and Wise

You have a broad, mature outlook on life. You know that there are ups and downs, and you feel like you can weather them.

You have a few friends and family members that you are especially close to. You can count on them to be there for you.

You feel relieved about your past and those you have loved. You are happy to be moving on with the future.

You succeed by pacing yourself. You realize that all that matters is the long run, and you aim to persevere.

Freaky Dream Song

Eww. I just remembered that right before I woke up, in the middle of a dream, the song "Lonely Nights" by (hang on to your hats...most of you won't know who this is) The Captain and Tenille was playing. In my dream. So all day today, that song has repeatedly been playing in my head. WTSBRAIN.

Loneeeeeelyyyyy nigghhhhhhtssssss...I cried myself to sleeeepppp...tell me what am I gonna do...

</singing it

Twiddling my thumbs

So I run into this blog and start reading yesterday, when it occurred to me that this person IS ME just in another body. But every word, turn-of-phrase, OMGSCREAMING and thought process (even regarding her children) were identical to mine.

Her blog, I might add, is highly successful and so she does talk a lot about her trolls (as I'm wont to do, as well).

It occurs to me that maybe - all those years' ago when I had a column - I should've kept it going. I really missed the boat when mine was sailing pretty good. Now I'm stuck reading what I /should've/ written over the past 20 years.

Eh. I blame it on plain ole writer's procrastination (in my case it's lasted for years). Or bad marriages which consumed 438498309420% of my time and effort.

But I /know/ that my talent is equal to hers and feel that I've squandered the good will of those who DID use to faithfully read me (and this would include the I hate Terri club, as well) with these droll and scant scribblings I'm writing these days.

I feel there's nothing to write for anyone else's interest, but by reading her blog, I realize that this is not true.

Still - I don't see me hopping back on the writing horse as happily as I did in 2002 and start writing prolific entries any time soon, so don't get all excited. It'll remain, most likely, as boring as it is right now. And that'll teach ya for reading me.

It has to be said


Define "normal" (edit uno)

...because it ain't my life.

This past week/weekend was/were so chaotic that it's impossible for me to journal all of it. Suffice it to say, the deathmobile - after just costing me $600 for repair - needs a new water pump. If you know anything about cars, you know it'll run me around $300. I am SICCCCCCCCKKKKKK of the deathmobile punishing me for my driving prowess. Just get me there and back, mkay carra, thnx.

The spawnlette (who shall hereinafter be called by her name) had SO much homework and had to work this weekend. When she works that hard, I just wanna put her in my lap, rock her and rub her head. She works way too hard for a normal teen, taking all AP classes and tending to a job on top of all this. With the undue stress coming from...well, someone significant in her life, it's not fair. She also did an uncanny job at cleaning up the kitchen. She even took shelves out of the fridge and cleaned those, too. :> It's all Pine-Sol-y around here now.

And I discovered she's reading a lot of Hunter S. Thompson. *I* can love him, but SHE can't. Heh. I'm worried about her choice in authors, since they are way too mature for her (or so I think, since she's my baby).

God I can't wait until she's 18. No more obscure passages about...significant people in her life.

I intended to get my hair cut, since it's SUPER long, but haven't had the time. Health is iffy and meds are, too, right now. I'm waiting on a call from the victor alpha right now, in fact. Let's hope they have some good news. Our V.A. was voted #1 in the nation. WHATTHEHELLVA. I know the reason why. When my doctor asked me to take a 'voluntary survey', he called the number, put it on speaker phone and literally watched me answer each satisfaction question. OH YEAH, LIKE IMMA GONNA SAY SOMETHING BAD ABOUT THEM WITH MY MEDICINE-PRESCRIBER STANDING OVER ME. That survey is SO WRONG for this reason, and they need to get an independent polling group to get accurate results.

I'm losing weight again, which isn't so good, but am eating to avoid getting too thin again. My clothes are trying to get baggy which is never a good sign.

Hm...the rest of my life is just boring right now. I am, however, horrified at how all your old buddies from the military and high school can 'tag' you in a photo on Facebook and how all MY friends get to see 'em. The horror. We should have a say on that, I'm thinking, even though I'm rarely - if ever - on Facebook.

Mkay. I'm off today, and gonna go stick my nose in the Kindle :D It's rainy outside, but thankfully not cold. Good, however, to stay in and read until Kelsey gets home.


Since I never look at my profile page, I've NOT noticed V-gifts that you guys have given me. So thank you very much for those V-gifts, and I apologize for not noticing them. I think El Jay should send us notifications when we receive 'em.

The cup-o-joe was particularly nice because it was for no reason :)

And the hits just keep onnnnnnnn comin'

So the freakin' death mobile is still immobile due to ONE BOLT that not ONE MAN on this planet can seem to get off. To add insult to injury, I learned that there were bigger fish to fry regarding my car than just a lil old belt. Now, I'm having to strain my cap to come up with creative ways to pay this guy. I've been sifting through books, jewelry, movies, etc.; anything of value that can be pawned and quick.

There have now been seven unsuccessful attempts at getting that dreaded bolt off. Now, it's stripped, which means that 'Jack' is going to have to heat it out. God only knows what he'll replace it with. A friend of mine feels like we need to punish the bolt, each and every one of us and friends who've had their hands on it. It deserves to be punished. Or maybe the deathmobile does. OR MAYBE I DO. Eeeks.

I had another friend just call and ask if I wanted him to try to get the bolt of (at this point I can only laugh to stop from crying) and told him no. He went on to talk about his brother, and called him a 'techno-tard'. Gotta love making up your own vocabulary :D Tis what I luff about my real life friends; they're pretty good at it.

Open letters

Dear Bret Easton Ellis:

You got lucky in the '80s because everyone was on drugs. Please stop writing now, k?

Love and kisses -

Dear Good Year:

First of all, look at the SIZE OF YOU. Why in the hellia couldn't all you guys get that freakin' bolt off my car? I shouldn't have to pay $90 just for you to tell me you are made up of one BIG HUGE FAIL.

Sloppy kisses -
An angry customer

Dear Life:

PLEASEE turn around for a change. I can't take all this crap you're throwing at me. This is your last warning, lest I fire you.

Your owner.

Dear credit card company:

Like the old Japanese proverb goes "It is useless to push a cart sideways". Pretend I'm the cart while you try to push. See? Doesn't work, and now I'm laying sideways on the floor. How retarded is that? So just stop it.

A cardholder

Dear Spawnlette:

Please stop acting like a teenager. Imma hafta kill you or have you surgically cut off at the knees, which will make you unable to drive your car. You're the one who chose all AP classes this year, so don't look at me sideways when I tell you to study. ;p

Your loving mommy <3

Dear Heater:

Please work consistently. I'm freezing my arse off.

Your condo inhabitant


Dear Mother Nature:

You mock me by sending really awesome weather our way. Are you /trying/ to get on my bad side? It should be storming out there, but OH NO YOU MADE IT PRETTY AND CLEAN AND GREEN AND WARM. I'd like my insides to match your outsides, kaythnx.

An earthling

Since I'm all negative Nelly up in here, I'll resist to continue writing any more about my life and what's going on in it, since doing so really rams it home.

< /rantings

Bored, crazy inmates dancing again.

At least that got a cool outfit out of the whole deal.
Dating Deal Breakers: When It's Time to Get Out
* by StyleCaster

As an eligible single woman, it's only natural to be looking for that significant other who will sweep you off your perfectly pedicured, Louboutin-clad feet. You go out with the girls in hopes of catching the eye of your future Prince Charming and securing that fairytale ending, but sometimes dating trials run amuck, leaving you with an experience that you wish you could have skipped out on.

Dating can be fun, but oftentimes we have to weed out the freaks before we find the ones worth our time. Some guys have idiosyncrasies that are just too much to handle, but what are the real red flags that should send you running in the completely opposite direction? Here are some deal breakers that we think warrant an instant end to the relationship. These guys mean trouble:

The Cheater
This guy plans dates with multiple girls at a time even when you've been seeing each other for a couple of weeks at minimum. He claims he's keeping his options open, but what that really means is that he has commitment issues and that he's somewhat of a player. This guy definitely is not ready to be in a monogamous relationship, so get out before you get hurt. Keep your eyes peeled for his constant checking of text messages and any smirks that may cross his face while he responds.

The Liar
Like the cheater, this guy won't be straight up with you. He'll ignore certain topics you bring up and will try to immediately change the subject. If he can't look you in the eyes when you ask him what he did that day, then there's a problem. This should send you running in the opposite direction before he ends up lying about something much more serious than his daily routine. Obviously this guy has major skeletons in his closet, and you won't want to stick around long enough to find out what they might be.

The Guy that Needs Anger Management
This guy will seem perfect and charming at first, but the more time you spend with him, the more you'll notice all the little things that make him tick... He'll talk to you about how upset he got over something a normal person would shrug off without a second thought. Once he gets comfortable with you, beware. The snapping will most likely get directed at you. Warning: this guy will probably need to punch something (like a wall) to relieve his anger. So get out, because he's bound to turn into an angry, manipulative, control freak in time.
Makeup Tricks to Hide a Sleepless Night

Inappropriate Commentary
This guy's mom never taught him how to properly respect a woman. He probably views you as an object and worships music artists who make a living out of lyrics that oftentimes degrade women. He's the guy that will talk about your rear end beyond the point of sexiness, or he'll comment about other women's assets in front of you. Not okay. Don't get caught up with this type of guy -- he'll only make you feel bad about yourself in the end, and that's a definite deal-breaker.

The Cheapskate
A cheapskate is cheap. He'll take you to dive bars and pinch pennies even if he's not on a budget. Eventually he'll be asking you to foot the bill or join forces when the check comes. Offering to help out with costly dating expenses is only fair when you're in a serious relationship, but if he requests that you foot the bill on the first date, then politely move on.

Poor Hygiene
Chronic bad breath, disgusting body odor, and poor sartorial choices all fall under the category of poor hygiene, which is just plain gross -- and definitely a deal-breaker. Pass on these guys, unless you have a strange fetish for uber-grungy types. You may think you can persuade him to clean up his act, but we never recommend entering a relationship in which you're already scheming to change your man's ways.

The Tease
This guy is just full of empty promises. He'll have a slew of great ideas that just don't come to pass, leaving you high and dry. Don't let him pull you into his negative ways with zero follow-through. It will only turn you into a pessimist, and who wants to be around one of those?

The Mama's Boy
The definition of a mama's boy is a guy with no shame who still lives at home. He'll probably introduce you to his parents right off the bat and tell you that he's still dependent because he's saving up for his so-called "bright future." In our poor economy, we'll give younger twentysomething dudes a break in this case, but let's face it -- if this guy is almost 30, and still shacking up with mom and dad -- DEAL-BREAKER.

The Guy with Weird Friends
This guy takes a while to introduce you to his friends, but once he does, you automatically know why: they're freaks. This should make you wonder about his true character and whether or not you'd be willing to spend a large chunk of your time with these dudes. We think this is your exit cue.

The Napoleon Syndrome
This is the short man with the big mouth who feels the need to be outspoken in order to make up for his vertical challenge. He'll most likely end up embarrassing himself (and you) when you're out in public because of his need for attention. Plus, we'd never want to date a guy who has serious underlying issues with insecurity. Confidence is the ultimate form of sexiness.

I could add on to this list but shall resist the urge. This one covers the mains issues, I'm thinkin'.

Open letters to whomevers

Dear LJ:

Instead of not sending notifications of comments, please regurgitate them all up at one time, instead of choking out a random one-fer or two-fer at a time. You're fired.

Love and sloppy kisses -

Dear Mother Nature:


Thankfully yours -

Dear Deathmobile:

Now that you've beaten up two of my best friends, I think it's time we came to some sort of agreement on how you should behave whilst being worked on. I realize that you're one of those high maintenance types, but typically a Miata M-Class rarely has issues; so what bee's up your damn bonnet? I've had you worked on twice this year, and you throw another surprise in my direction.

If you don't correct yourself, Imma hafta kick that azz.

Your Mistress

Dear Regions Bank N.A.:

While AmSouth didn't give US a choice as to whom they merged, I need to inform you that your card services and employees thereof SUCK. I never had trouble with AmSouth, and this morning's little bit 'o fun was just another in a series of incidences that I've encountered since the merger.

Get it straight, or I'm switching to Wachovia.

Angry in Birmigham -
A customer

Today's GOT TO get better. This is the kind of crap I'm dealing with on a daily basis, and the fun never stops here. I'm just waiting to see which monkey wrench will be slung at me after lunch. Yee Haw.

It has to be said - women in the military

So today - whilst reading the news - I came across an article where the military is about to court martial a soldier who refused to be deployed, due to the fact that she is a single mother with no support system. THANKS, BEOTCH. You've managed to UNDO what women have been striving to prove since we were first allowed to serve our country. Do you honestly think that first, getting pregnant out of wedlock, was a smart move as a soldier??? There are actually rules about all that. And secondly, NOTHING makes you any more special than any other parent. Maybe you should've thought about that while hoing around the base. Or maybe it should've occurred to you before you flat out refused a military order. There are plenty of rules on THAT, also.

I say throw the book slap at her forehead.

And some argue that the military is being too harsh on her. Whatever. She'd be hanging from the courthouse lawn if I had a say in it. Unbelievable. One step forward; 20 back. Sorry, mah sistah, but this ain't civil service nor is it some government "job" where you can just decide you don't want to show up, due to your poor ass judgment, fear, or general laziness (which is what I'm voting on). The military isn't easy, but it's for a good reason. You made the choice to join and committed yourself to it. To disobey a deployment order should warrant you some serious jail time. NOW how's your kid going to grow up??

And no, I don't care who this offends. I spent my time in the military, and have seen this type of "play" made by women with children. It /never/ worked, I might add. They had to go TDY and be on alert just like the rest of us in the end, or get what this chick is getting - an Article 15.

That makes me sick.


The deathmobile and life

After all that scurrying around in November to fix what I thought was a big problem but ended up being a belt issue, I'll be damned if it didn't pop again. Yesterday I was driving in to work when my battery light - just like last time - came on. Frenetically, I redirected myself back home as I didn't want a replay of the LAST time I was stuck on Highway 31 during rush hour.


I swear, I'll love that car until the day it or I die, but it's aging me with all of its little troubles. I have a couple of old high school buddies coming to reaffix the serpantine belt and the carburetor/battery belts so that I'll be happily back on the road without fear.

I've realized lately that in addition to my lack of journaling, I've also developed some sort of leave-the-house phobia. I don't want to leave unless it's absolutely, critically necessary. Very unsocial of me, but that's where this path has led me. Why the drastic changes in my life, I can't answer. And then - when I get the gumption to get out - my car acts up, affirming all the little reasons why I should stay home. Heh. Great.

Kelsey is now able to fit into all my clothes, having sprouted up to my height (almost...one inch shorter) and losing her baby fat. So guess where half my clothes are? I knew her dad would find a way to get ALL my stuff sooner or later. Kelsey is simply the vessel.

And we don't want to talk about Kelsey right now. I'm still miffed over a couple of things, and am hopeful that she makes these things right. She doesn't need to start screwing up now that college is so close. *sigh*

I need to start seeing Z again. I'm on the wrong meds and they're not working. So instead of ruining my liver with something that doesn't work, I'll kill it by using something that does. It seems like the Victor Alpha pretty much allows me to write my own prescriptions; at the very least, I 'advise' my doctors as to what I need to be on. I could also use another .5 mgs of Risperidone at night. That stuff is magical for sleep, and I take them at 1 mg. as it is. I also need a referral to my ortho and the ENT for these freakin' sinuses. I just dread going period. They'll find something else wrong and of course my options will be limited as to the treatment thereof. As it is, I'm having to shell out serious cash every month for my fentanyl prescription, since the Victor Alpha took it off its formulary list.

In great news, mother nature has cut us a break for the past couple of days, and it's warmed up, de-icing everything and making going outside tolerable. I thought I was gonna be stranded cocooned in my insomnia bed for the whole season.

Kindle news
So I took a friend's advice and sought out more books on a site named truly-free.org (which is an oxymoron). I downloaded a few books and BOOM. It shut me off. Then, it asked for a donation. After about a week of frustration and no new books, I *thought* I donated a couple of bucks to "the burgomeister" as he calls himself. Suffice it to say that our correspondence was like a really bad breakup with a psychotic boyfriend, as he got all crazy on me. LOL. I asked him to calm down, since we were just talking semantics, and I hadn't even MENTIONED that the title of his site was "truly-free.org". Oops. I said it, and he went on a tear. I've wasted more time trying to placate "the burgomeister" than I have working. WTS BURGOMEISTER? CHILL. I did download more yesterday, as my IP addy was freed up for a period of time. So I have enough Kindle books to last me for a good month or so.

Nothing new or interesting to report besides all that. I'm trying my level best to journal at least sporadically, even if it's boring, just to keep it hoppin' around here. lol :) Seems like my friends have become as lax as *I*; so I feel it my duty to tap them on the shoulder. I'm tired of reading the same old things from the same peeps, even though today had some surprising good entries from friends who don't journal daily.

Okay. Back into the fray, until I find a good quiz or You Tube thing that needs sharing. :>

Eh gads - is /nothing/ sacred?

I hope 2010 isn't a dull repeat of 2009. I need to journal more often, particularly since Kelsey is going through so many changes and so much happens I can barely sit still. Since last year, I suddenly froze up with the journal thing, and that hasn't happened since I began this in 2002. I didn't even bother with my annual journal-in-a-minute this year. Eeeeeks.

How do you pick up on your journal when you haven't done it in ages? I don't even know where to begin, how or when. Kelsey's gone through two cars so far, has big plans for her future, and my life is as it always has been, sans the crazy stalker stuff, once I finally got caller I.D. :> I won't have to deal with that crazy daily phone call with music, and have not since it was switched on. Sorry, jackass. Have fun playing junior high with some other chick.

There have been many life-altering situations and deaths which have occurred within my inner circle, none of which was journaled. Doing it now seems pointless, as I've not kept up with ANYTHING.

I've seen friends stop journaling (and they're still silent) and used to wonder why. Now I know it's because they're living their lives instead of writing about the mundane. I know *I* get tired of hearing what someone's freakin' daily menu consists of, or what color their shirt is on a regular basis. What's worse are the ones on my list who honestly think they're good people and could not be further from the truth. We reveal SO much when we write, even when we're not cognizant of it. Perhaps especially. No, this doesn't stop me from writing as I don't feel I'm bad (except in traffic), but rather feel a detached indifference towards my own life, or keeping a record of it.

Perhaps a resolution I could've made this year would be to journal more often. Right now, I'm sick of some of the people who read it (if you think this is you, you're probably right). I've been tempted to go friend's only, but swore I'd never do that. At this point in life, I don't /want/ everyone reading this.

Recently, someone got upset over a status I had or some random quip I made on one of my sites. It was so ridiculous at how angry/upset this person was that it made me feel a little sick. If I can't write what I want to on MY OWN PAGES, then Houston, we have a problem. First, it's not anyone's business what I write or why. I shouldn't have to explain myself in a journal, on Facebook, Twitter or even my high school site. Why do I let people stifle me like this? I never used to care what anyone thought when I wrote my little thoughts down. I don't know if it's that I care right now, but rather I don't want to deal with any unhappiness involving what I write.

So while I'd love to ask a few people to just stop reading me, it won't happen.

I'm seriously thinking of moving to one of my truly anonymous journals to write, just because I can breathe again. I'd miss the interaction of my friends, but that's better than keeping everything bottled up. I've also thought about springing the $15 for an anonymous name change, but feel sure that the assholes who feel it necessary to sneak around my sites will find a way to trace me somehow (I've already thought of three ways to do this, so I'm sure they could). It's not that life is so interesting or disinteresting - it's the effect it has on some people in my life that's making me feel stifled and crazy. I'm not going to change who I am just to keep someone placated. Grow up. Man up. Don't personalize what I do since it's not about YOU, but rather, about ME.

But I digress. I'm just sick of not being able to journal for these sundry reasons. I've also been busy with my Kindle (don't wanna hear opinions on that either, since it was a thoughtful Christmas present). Reading now takes up all my free time.

Reading the friend's list is another issue entirely. I culled my list significantly last year, but feel I need to cut about five more out of the list now. I simply can't tolerate some behavior out there, and why suffer through it? It's no big deal, even though it'll be treated that way (or I'd bet - drama ALWAYS ensues when I unfriend someone).

Ja, so that's that. I don't know what I started to write when this began but now it sounds like a serious bitch fest. Maybe it is. That's okay, because it's my journal.

Should I change my name and carry my friends over, should I change my name and just be anonymous, or should I change my name and only inform friends who I really want to read and keep up with on the list?

NOTE: Since I'm leaning towards anonymously changing my name, and you're a friend of mine who doesn't have a Livejournal but still want to keep up with me (i.e., Taz, Bill, Bob Beck., Minnie, Jackie, Terri, etc.), please write me at tbastedo@aol.com so I can send you my new journal name in case I change it quickly (which is, as most know, my style).

I'm tired just thinking of it.

We rule

Alabama killed Texas' quarterback for the win.

Football is so barbaric.

And here's a good way to calm down angry airport passengers:


"I and the public know
What all schoolchildren learn,
Those to whom evil is done
Do evil in return."
-W.H. Auden

Since I've seen karma snatch someone bald-headed on my friend's list, I felt this little ditty was apropos. ;-)

Karma has now made you her bitch. Deal with it.

What the shit? This was voted the #1 most viral video on the internet. I admit that towards the end, he gets carried away, but dang. Just...WTS.

Rest of the top 100 listCollapse )

Open letter to UPS (seasonal)

Dear UPS:

You suck in general.

Love and sloppy kisses -
An incidental customer

Open letter to Bloomingdale's

Dear Bloomingdale's:

While I'm sure you think your 50% "bargains" are, indeed, bargains, the average shopper would beg to disagree. Not only are your prices ludicrous, but the quality of the fabric is questionable, as well. I can understand paying $100 for a short-sleeved, cashmere sweater (under extreme circumstances, with just the right cut), but to sell the same type shirt for $200 in a poly/cotton blend is just plain stupid.

Which brings us to Steinmart, which is happy to sell your clothes for /nothing/. When *they* have a sale, they go through your leftovers like an orka at the Christmas table, making the customers super happy to have bypassed you in their buying decisions.

Bottom line? You suck. Your sales suck. And you suck for even putting stuff out there that I can easily find on alloy.com, newport-news.com, pinkice.com, victoriassecret.com...the list goes on and on.

Get a grip on your audience. I don't even think the wealthy would want to pay your exorbitant prices.

Love and sloppy kisses -
Not a consumer and never will be

Creepers and guilt

Not only do I feel guilty for not updating, due to those of you who keep up with me, but I'm now totally creeped out by those "anonymous" visits, which far outweigh any Live Journaler visiting.

Creepers? Go away. It's not like I update anymore, so WTS?


Creeping Through The Cellar Door
Stepparenting Column

Latest Month

February 2019


Here is Belladonna, the Lady of the Rocks,
The lady of situations.
Here is the man with three staves, and here the Wheel,
And here is the one-eyed merchant, and this card
Which is blank, is something that he carries on his back,
Which I am forbidden to see. I do not find
The Hanged Man. Fear death by water.
I see crowds of people, walking round in a ring.
Thank you. If you see dear Mrs. Equitone,
Tell her I bring the horoscope myself;

One must be so careful these days.


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