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OMGWTHBBQ? [edit uno]

(This was said during a discussion of how she /thought/ she was getting strep, and needed to take a sick day, THEN decided that even though she had long-period math, she wanted to go just to see her boyfriend. Ugh?!)

Me: OH I SEE. You wanna go to school just to kiss your boyfriend?!

Kelsey: OH NO MOM! If you get caught kissing by a teacher in school, they'll BUTTRAPE YOU.

Me: *blink* *shreiking in horror...for a good two, three minutes* *thinks about it, DIES laughing*

Kelsey: No, mom, I'm dead serious; if you hold hands, the teachers think "OH they must be going out, and if they're going OUT, they're gonna kiss, and they're jealous because they're old and crusty and NEVER see any action, except for my English teacher, because she's cool like that."

Me: *blink* But...but I'm cool like that; and I'M not getting any action anymore, sweetheart. *silently sobs to self*

Me: *runs to journal*

Kelsey: Mom? You SO DO, or you could if you wanted. Plus, it's not EVEN funny. I don't go to school JUST to kiss, gah. Plus d-awwwwwww! Thursday is mine and Nic's three-month anniversary!! And that's kinda cool, because normally I'd be SO BORED by now.

Me: *stops journaling, blinks, and sees her future...and it's horrifying to behold*

What?!

Comments

( 18 whispered — Whisper to me )
mysticknyght
Feb. 6th, 2007 11:09 pm (UTC)
heh, sounds like the teachers at my boy's school...although somehow i don't wanna visualize any of those women butt-raping anyone... :-P
none_too_subtle
Feb. 6th, 2007 11:13 pm (UTC)
Hahahaha. She extrapolated on it further, even though I was all "la la la laaaaaa dun wanna hear it now or evaaaaaaaaah la la laaaaaaa". LOL.

She said they had microscopes and planted tracking devices on their backpacks if they thought two kids were dating.

Um...back when /I/ was in high school, "dating" meant "going out to the movies, dinner, etc." Now, it means holding hands, walking each other home from school, and stealing a kiss here and there.

Er...gotta love her BF, though. It took him almost three months TO kiss her :D LOL. And it was sweet, cuz he put his hands on the side of her head, and often kisses her forehead.

Awwwwww. Even /I/ can't fault that. :) :)
mysticknyght
Feb. 7th, 2007 01:08 am (UTC)
well, so long as "dating" doesn't include handjobs in the back rows of the 20-screen megaplex theater, you're OK :-P
none_too_subtle
Feb. 6th, 2007 11:13 pm (UTC)
PLUS
WE DON'T /SAY THAT/!!!!

Buttrape! Where'd she get THAT?!?!
mysticknyght
Feb. 7th, 2007 01:06 am (UTC)
Re: PLUS
hun, she's not gonna say "buttfuck" to her mum! :-)
wbahner
Feb. 6th, 2007 11:24 pm (UTC)
Buttrape??

Oh man, school has changed since I have been there :)
none_too_subtle
Feb. 6th, 2007 11:27 pm (UTC)
No JOKE. I mean, it's not like they're smoking crack in the bathroom. There are several issues going on here...the teachers, watching for /any/ affection (seems to me that genuine affection should be at least tolerated if it's moderate), and the word "buttrape" from outta the clear, blue sky. LOL.

When I was in high school, you could get busy on the school bus, and people would just videotape it. Hahahaha.

*cough* Of course, I hung onto THAT like the holy grail. It took me until AFTER H.S. to finally give up the ghost with the most. *snort*
wbahner
Feb. 6th, 2007 11:30 pm (UTC)
Back in the day, I remember a few people on the lookout for PDAs, but there wasn't no buttraping involved... :)
none_too_subtle
Feb. 6th, 2007 11:33 pm (UTC)
Hahahahaha! I didn't even know what BUTTRAPE WAS!!! Gah! To me, that would've been EVIL, NASTY AND WRONG!!

Don't forget -- I was brought up a strict, Southern Baptist and participated in church three times a week (volunteering with the elderly on Saturday nights instead of getting drunk, high and laid with the rest of my friends).

GAH I WAS SUCH A NERDY DORK!!!!
wbahner
Feb. 6th, 2007 11:36 pm (UTC)
GAH I WAS SUCH A NERDY DORK!!!!

Was????

;)
none_too_subtle
Feb. 7th, 2007 12:16 am (UTC)
OH I SEE HOW IT IS!!

I'll have you know...that I have a /witness/ who can confirm that although I might've had moments of dorkitude, from last Tuesday until er, Sunday a.m., I was anything /but/ dorky ;-)

Girly, maybe. :X 'Nother story, however, 'nother time, 'nother place. :P
wbahner
Feb. 7th, 2007 12:23 am (UTC)
Ain't nothing wrong with girly.... ;)
none_too_subtle
Feb. 7th, 2007 12:25 am (UTC)
That's what he said; although, I definitely disagree, all things considered. Being "girly" makes me horribly weak. Ugh. I don't like myself when I'm that for one reason: It tends to bring out the...aloofness in my male companion(s). Of course, I'm sure they'd deny it, but I knows what I sees and feels, and can pretty much say this with sureity, yaknowwhatimean?
wbahner
Feb. 7th, 2007 12:29 am (UTC)
Iknowwhatyoumean.

I still say that there's nothing wrong with a little girly. Last I checked, you are a girl.... :)
none_too_subtle
Feb. 7th, 2007 12:50 am (UTC)
Seeeeeeeeeee, this is the interwebz...I might be a BOY!! *gasp*

I hate my girly episodes, which is causing me a lot of grief right now. =/
wbahner
Feb. 7th, 2007 12:58 am (UTC)
I'm pretty sure you aren't a boy.....
dawna
Feb. 6th, 2007 11:52 pm (UTC)
hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahaha OMG Your kid is awesome Terri

*dies*
none_too_subtle
Feb. 7th, 2007 12:15 am (UTC)
LOLOLOL!!! She's freakin' /hilarious/. These little gems come out typically when I least expect it. Seriously -- if you spent two hours with her, you'd laugh until you cried :D LOLOL. :) :D

Tanks :D :D
( 18 whispered — Whisper to me )

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Words.

Here is Belladonna, the Lady of the Rocks,
The lady of situations.
Here is the man with three staves, and here the Wheel,
And here is the one-eyed merchant, and this card
Which is blank, is something that he carries on his back,
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The Hanged Man. Fear death by water.
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Tell her I bring the horoscope myself;

One must be so careful these days.

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