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And this has to be said

I know of two family members who've read my journal.

But to know that MANY of them read my journal, KNOW how sick I am and have been, and have NEVER offered to help, makes me feel sick on so many levels and for different reasons that I can't even get in to it.

Happily, I've kept so much to myself and in friend's only entries. Evil. There is no other word for it.

I feel like some serial rapist just rummaged through my underwear drawer.

THAT'S RIGHT. YOU. GET...THE HELL...OFF MY JOURNAL. You want /nothing/ to do with me, and yet READ ME?

You're jealous because not only do I speak English, but I comprehend what I read, too. I know it's befuddling, but true. Maybe YOU want to go back and REALLY READ. It's clear, while mentioning my LIVE JOURNAL, that no one READ beyond the fact that I finally opened it.

Ugh. And that's really all I'll say about it. It's gross knowing your family members are all rubbing their hands together, reading about your daily life.

Believe me. Nasty.

Comments

( 9 whispered — Whisper to me )
ulitave
Jul. 12th, 2007 08:05 pm (UTC)
I wish family never read my journal.
Whatcha doing on Wednesday?
none_too_subtle
Jul. 12th, 2007 11:42 pm (UTC)
I've known of ONE psycho who raeds mine. I also have a cuple of nieces who read (teenagers...so use your imagination). I honestly feel this is like the whsiper-in-a-line, to see how drastic the story ends UP being. But I do know it NEVER remains as it was intended.

It's pathetic. And to think I was leaning towards getting him to handle mine, and am SO glad to see all this now.
none_too_subtle
Jul. 12th, 2007 11:42 pm (UTC)
*reads, too.

DOH.
jesusrock7
Jul. 12th, 2007 11:02 pm (UTC)
I don't think anyone I'm related to reads mine! I've "friended" 3 cousins on Facebook, but that's all.
none_too_subtle
Jul. 12th, 2007 11:09 pm (UTC)
You know...I know the possibility is there. I look over my code, and KNOW -- just because of mysterious e-mail from those who read -- that the chances of at least /half/ my relatives reading is probably accurate (if not more).

I know EXACTLY who directed...the cousin to my Live Journal. I just tracked her. I knew it. And she's ALWAYS hated me (from childhood, no less, for reasons I won't get in to here). But yes--I try to stay conscious that not only do younger kids read this, but also family members. Thus the "temperament" in here. *sigh*

See why I want to run from my journal? Have you EVER READ anything encouraging or helpful from my family in here? THAT WOULD BE NO. NOT EVER. And clearly, they AT LEAST know my situation. That's what makes all this even worse.
montesqusmith
Jul. 13th, 2007 09:41 am (UTC)
Morning Nts,

Yep - thats one of the reason why I keep my lj relatively vague. I'd be mortified if anyone I didnt want to know 'knew' of my journal.

Its for me by me.

I can rant, rave, talk utter bollocks or just ramble.

Buts its a place of comfort for me and my thoughts.

Keep smiling and don't let things get you down.
none_too_subtle
Jul. 13th, 2007 10:09 am (UTC)
I'm of the belief that I shouldn't /have/ to hide what I feel, or just daily goings-on because of a handful of people. When I first started this, it never occurred to me that other people would read. But within the first week or so, I had two friends (or at least within the month), and started getting mail from those who did read.

It's always been a possibility that "family" would read; however, why would they? I went through all of that in my head. And quite frankly, I only know of /one/ who does read (and she reads because she's a psycho...not even a relative, just married to one). After all this, I'll STILL journal publicly.

If I wrote a book, I'd combine reality with fantasy, and boom -- same results, you know? So I'm not going to start hiding how much tuna I eat, just because of some idiots with NO LIFE whatsoever.

Interestingly enough, I was browsing a dating site, and found -- oops!! -- my sister-in-law in there, status: for dating men. I wonder if any other relatives (like OH I DUNNO HER HUSBAND?) have seen that ad? I'm thinking so. I think they have a polyamorous marriage, and I'm finding out the hard way. And the ONLY way I found out about her was because she'd hit MY SITE so many times. LOL.

Yeah...I'm tempted to pick up the phone, or even make an entry about THEIR situation, but I'll resist.

For now.

If things get worse, I might just have to speak the truth all up in here for /everyone/ to read. Now that my journal's "known" to family members, might as well "talk to them" in my own format. God knows I won't let them talk /back/.

And that, my friend, is kinda cool ;-)
montesqusmith
Jul. 13th, 2007 10:15 am (UTC)
A good point well made.... now breathe :)

**No more caffine for nts today** :)
none_too_subtle
Jul. 13th, 2007 10:26 am (UTC)
Hahahaha! I don't drink caffeine nor alcohol. I'M SO DROLL IT HURTS. O.o

LOL :) Don't forget I type 130 WPM, so it's easy to respond, and respond well when someone writes to me :D
( 9 whispered — Whisper to me )

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Words.

Here is Belladonna, the Lady of the Rocks,
The lady of situations.
Here is the man with three staves, and here the Wheel,
And here is the one-eyed merchant, and this card
Which is blank, is something that he carries on his back,
Which I am forbidden to see. I do not find
The Hanged Man. Fear death by water.
I see crowds of people, walking round in a ring.
Thank you. If you see dear Mrs. Equitone,
Tell her I bring the horoscope myself;

One must be so careful these days.

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