Creeping Through The Cellar Door (none_too_subtle) wrote,
Creeping Through The Cellar Door
none_too_subtle

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Confessions of a Spoil-a-holic

I confess. I read the last page of a book (or chapter) before I'll get it. I like knowing in November what Santa's gonna get me. I don't give out my birthday because, well, you start EXPECTING those who know to DO SOMETHING.



I like reading the book before the movie, I like questioning the movie after it's over, and I want it to end the way the book does. I will go so far as to UNWRAP Christmas presents, and REWRAP them, just to find out ONE of them. I'll unwrap EVERYONE'S if there are only numbers on the boxes, but I WILL ACHIEVE MY GOAL.

I'm a simple girl. Really, I am. And that's exactly why I don't reveal my birthday. Okay, for more than one reason, but that's one of them.

You just NEVER KNOW who's gonna pop up -- ohhhhhh say, a doctor? your child? -- with a "OMG I GOT YOU A GREEEEEAT BIRTHDAY PRESENT BUT I'M NOT TELLING."

What?!


Everybody who knows me and WOULD buy a gift for me (or gift me in some way) KNOWS not only my birthday, but also that I HATE not knowing. I want to know everything.

Those same people are entrusted with that dreaded day that even *I* try to forget every year. So if THEY forget, well, it doesn't bode well for our mutual futures. Just sayin'. If you work like the devil to get the date, then be the devil on my birthday.

Spoilers. Page-endings. Movie shockers. JUST A FREAKIN' HINT at what this GREAT WONDERFUL OMGYOU'REGONNALOVEITSOMUCH! thing is before I lose my freakin' mind.

So yesterday, Kelsey and Cameron BOTH didn't want to see what I'd done for them (I always do a little thing for them, so they will remember this summer), but rather decided to LITERALLY TORTURE ME over "what the birthday thing was". They refused...REFUSED to hint. At all. That lasted for an hour, as I kept them in the living room, while they were condescending to me, talking in this new, kid-speak designed to keep adults out of the loop.

Nice, Kelsey.

Then, Kelsey said "Okay, mom, I'll give you this much but that's it." She immediately made this weird noise, started moving her hands in a sliding out motion, then pulling back in, and ending that in a pop-sound. WHAT THE SHIT IS THAT? Cameron laughed when Kelsey did this, and said "OH I'D GET IT."

WHATEVER. NOBODY WOULD'VE GOTTEN THAT HINT.

So I kept after them. Kelsey says it's something I've mentioned that I NEED. I don't /want/ things, but do NEED. So I asked if it was a new vacuum cleaner. LOL. Nope. I asked more than 100 questions, none of which were satisfied, and up to this moment, I'm clueless. AND WE KNOW I HATE THAT.

This morning, BOOM, same thing happens with someone else.

"Oh, man, you're gonna LOVE your birthday present."

Again...these people are close to me; otherwise, they wouldn't KNOW my birthday. So at THIS point, I've gone through two horrific days of birthday torture, because I'm literally afraid that I'll look and think "OMG WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?" I know...it sounds terrible, but it happens nonetheless. I've seen it happen with others; which is why I'm SO generic but helpful during times like that (i.e., gift cards to anywhere, USA, etc.). And this morning was NO different. I went into great detail about HOW I HATE SURPRISES and none of that registered.

But worse -- I received NO SPOILERS which would help. This morning, I heard the SAME thing Kelsey said: "Oh you'll LOVE IT...TRUST ME because I KNOW you."

Ummmmmmmm I don't think /anybody/ knows me that well. Okay, well, this person did mention things that he thought I loved and he was right. But it's not because I ever *told* him. So now, I wonder HOW IN THE HELLIA he could've guessed those things, since they're not typical gifts. I'm not a typical chica. Freaky. What I /really/ want is his iPod. LOL :) Even my most obscure favorite musicians ARE ON HIS IPOD. How did HE know? Or is it possible that he has the EXACT SAME musical tastes as *I*? Or did he call Kelsey up, and start asking questions? Just sayin'.

Now I'm gonna worry right up until THAT DAY. Kelsey's school registration is on my birthday, which REALLY sucks, so I have a feeling that day is going to drag on and on and on. Then again, it usually does. Why? Because I will make the mistake of telling the wrong people -- again, who beg like the devil to find out when my real birthday is -- who never fail to disappoint.

And that's that. I'm going insane because of those two. Nice. Oh, and to top it off, the aforementioned made a medical hypothesis of WHAT THAT KNOT WAS above my arse and right below my waist. OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. I WANT IT OUT!!!!!




I just won't go there. Today's too crazy as is. I'm just happy at the prospect that life will level out. Yeah. That's my BIGGEST goal, I think. That, and learning from one or the other WHAT THE HELLIA THEY GOT ME.

Scoot.
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