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Kissing! One of my favorite subjects. Too few know the art of it, but I found this article with other chicks saying exactly what I've pointed out (yes, on dates) to men. I mean, you want to obtain your goal, right? Read awwwwn...

How I Want to be Kissed

by Christine M. Coppa
for Happen magazine

I've had my fair share of kisses over the years. Some, I admit, were horrible, and included things like braces, corn-chip breath, and games of tonsil hockey. But there have been some pretty sweep-me-off-my-feet kisses too, like: kissing under a sky illuminated with fireworks, a grown-up-game of spin-the-bottle (please land on green eyes -- yes!), and scandalous kisses that never should have happened but felt so good. It's no wonder, of course, that my girlfriends and I want more of the latter than the former. So listen up, guys, for some advice. Here, eight women kiss and tell...

Make sure she's willing
"First off, does the date merit a kiss? Am I engaged in conversation with you? Am I smiling? If things seem like a go, a first kiss should be very soft. Please, no tongue! Just kiss my lips with yours. Nip at my bottom lip -- just slightly tug it. Don't be like my last first date, who licked my teeth and got my hair caught in his college ring (come to think of it -- never wear a college ring on a date)."
-- Alexis Derano, editorial assistant

Brush up
"I think hygiene is key. Before you attempt to kiss me ask yourself: Does your breath smell like pepperoni pizza? I don't care if we just dined in garlic heaven -- a pack of gum or tin of Altoids cost around a buck. Both fit in your pocket. Puh-lease, have fresh breath. I keep Tic-Tacs on me at all times (hint, hint)! If we go back to your place to cuddle and watch a DVD, there is nothing sexier than a guy that excuses himself to the bathroom and emerges smelling like Crest. I once kissed a guy that tasted like tuna fish. We did not go on another date."
-- Donna Tice, accessories buyer

Ration the love
"A little goes a long way, boys! A little lip, a little tongue, a little caressing of my cheekbone. For starters, give me a quick, sexy sweep. Then retreat -- do not shove your tongue into my mouth. What I want now are your lips. I want long, solid smooches. Next, pull away and hold the back of my head in your palm. Look into my eyes. I'll reciprocate -- trust me."
-- Kristina Katsulous, account executive

Sneak a peck
"When just getting to know a guy, I like it when he goes in but doesn't make it to my lips and rather dots my cheek and lip with a long, sweet, I-know-I-like-you peck. Then he pulls away and I likely blush, which is a good sign. On our next formal date, I expect full lip-on-lip contact."
-- Tina Jackson, student

Kiss me in the theater
"Take me to the movies and kiss me (just sweet pecks) at really touching moments, like when the main guy and gal realize they're meant to be or the puppy gets saved from a burning building. It shows me you're sensitive and totally tuned into my girly feelings. I'll kiss you when your team scores a basket -- promise."
-- Rachelle King, sales associate

Watch the hands
"Do not take my hands and put them in inappropriate places on your body while we are sharing a kiss. If I like you, my hands will be caressing your brow or tucked under your collar. And I love it if your hands are resting on my hips, holding the back of my head, sweeping my cheek with a soft, open palm, or holding my hands (personal favorite). It ruins a kiss if you take your hands and go rushing to different places. If I like you... we'll get there.
-- Willow Roberts, photographer

Sweep her off her feet -- literally
"This is a little cheesy, but I love Hollywood kisses. Completely, over-the-top, theatrical kisses. Hold me, dip me, kiss me. It shows me you love to have fun (like me), and it's so romantic. Hollywood kisses are also a great distraction from petty arguments, by the way."
-- Laura Gowzen, personal trainer

Just do it!
"My best advice is so simple: Go for it. If you get that urge, and I don't seem that into it, who cares? Maybe I'm just zoned out for some reason, or maybe I am into you and you just aren't picking up on my very subtle vibes. I've been sneak-attacked a lot with a kiss, and nine times out of ten, it turns me on!"
-- Jaz Valte, publicist


( 20 whispered — Speak )
Jul. 28th, 2008 09:17 am (UTC)
Be clean, be polite, be light and affectionate.


Kinda 100% contrary to most teenage boys' natural inclinations.
Jul. 28th, 2008 11:15 am (UTC)
Older men, too. And when the ask, I ALWAYS tell the truth (even if it's bad...lolol). :D
Jul. 28th, 2008 09:52 am (UTC)
we have a whole generation growing up learning about sex by watching da internets prOn. from what i've read, oral sex is the new goodnight kiss. sigh.
Jul. 28th, 2008 11:17 am (UTC)
Tell me you're kidding. Of course, they start sex ed in the third grade! WTH?

But kissing is an art, and really shouldn't have anything to do with sex to start with. :>
Jul. 28th, 2008 11:29 am (UTC)
wish i was kidding
i read a ton of articles about it for my "human growth and development" class. it's really sad... one (young) girl described oral sex as "just like shaking hands, like getting to know someone." it's just a side effect of having your exposure to sex through shitty music and online porn shot in someone's apartment.

guess no one has time for anticipation anymore. :/
Jul. 28th, 2008 11:31 am (UTC)
Re: wish i was kidding
I wonder why they think that way?!? Ugh. Imagine, then, the effect all this "early knowledge" is going to have on sex in the future. Unreal.
Jul. 28th, 2008 11:41 am (UTC)
Re: wish i was kidding
yeah, as prOn becomes more "mainstream" and gains "industry recognition and respectability" there'll always be that element that wants to keep it on fringe, which will demand more gratuitous and deviant behavior which will in turn be watched by dumb kids who'll absorb it as standard operating procedure... sigh. i know i sound like i'm not giving the youth of today enough credit, but let's be realistic.

Jul. 28th, 2008 01:28 pm (UTC)
Re: wish i was kidding
The scary thing is they don't give a damn about anything. THIS will direct them? It's too horrible to think about. The whole world seems to be so jaded now. Kinda takes the fun out of life.
Jul. 28th, 2008 03:29 pm (UTC)
old man diatribe # 43
seriously, the music is a big part of it, too. the majority of the music that sells to teens (or that they download illegally) is this hip hop crap that has all these bleak lyrics about how this doesn't matter and that doesn't matter. now, when i was a yung un, i listened to a lot of music that had some pretty bleak messages at times, but then there were other bands that tried to make you think. nowadays music is all just selling an image, a lifestyle, that promotes get-rich quick or die young trying. i've talked about this at length with a lot of folks out at a & m, and they've admitted that until they started getting exposed to broader ways of thinking they were locked into that thug mentality. gee, education being the salvation of the masses? who would have thunk it? all those kids at the high school i was like were like "this music tells it like it is" and i was like "you know, most true-life "ghetto" folks can't even afford computers where they can download this shit from."

i'm just glad the majority of folks i've spoken to admit that they illegally download the crap they listen to. means the record companies aren't making money off it (hip hop sales are down like 40 percent in the last year), and once that bottom line drops out, they'll stop throwing money at all these carbon copy bands. then we'll have the likes of miley cyrus to try and topple... shudder.

where's my rake? i have to shake it at some kids in about thirty minutes.
Jul. 28th, 2008 03:48 pm (UTC)
Re: old man diatribe # 43
Don't even get me started on "music" today. Ugh. And sure enough, the spawn's bought in to the whole rap crap. The lyrics are horrific (if they can be called lyrics; sounds more like yelling). They all have the saaaaaaame freakin' beat, with that "tennis shoes in a dryer" background. I hate it. But you're right. Where's my garden hose?
Jul. 28th, 2008 04:27 pm (UTC)
Re: old man diatribe # 43
but see, the good thing with kelsey listening to that shite is that she actually has a brain, and seems quite capable of using it. some people without the mental fortitude, that shit'll just kinda burrow into your subconscious mind and fester. i imagine she'll outgrow it; everyone will. i mean, who is gonna wanna be sitting around in their 40's listening to "mc master enis p" or "dmz nickel" or whoever the fuck it is this week?

i half suspect a lot of kids listen to that shit just because they know their folks can't stand it. i just can't stand it because there's no freaking soul in it; talk about your cut and paste (literally--it took me 10 minutes to "write" a rap song once--and if I can do it, ANYONE can) bullshit. and now i need to get my walker out so i can take huge skylark down to the store to buy some metamucil.
Jul. 28th, 2008 07:05 pm (UTC)
Re: old man diatribe # 43
Hahaha. I'm with ya with the walker and metamucil. :> And the garden hose, of course...
Jul. 28th, 2008 07:08 pm (UTC)
Re: old man diatribe # 43
yeah.... i'm just cranky because i didn't have my afternoon nappy!
Jul. 28th, 2008 07:09 pm (UTC)
Re: old man diatribe # 43
I'm just cranky cuz it's da truff.
Jul. 28th, 2008 07:30 pm (UTC)
sorry for the tangent
girl, you know it's true.

but, um, yeah. kissing is nice.
Jul. 28th, 2008 07:42 pm (UTC)
Re: sorry for the tangent
Ja, I do.

And ja, it is, providing your partner has the 411. :>
Jul. 28th, 2008 10:39 am (UTC)

Jul. 28th, 2008 11:14 am (UTC)
LOL. Yiiiiikes!
Jul. 28th, 2008 11:26 pm (UTC)
The old peoples' rants upthread were hilarious... Anyway, two things I've learned --

1. Kind of an extension of one of the article's points ("Make sure she's willing"), it's an extremely effective diagnostic tool. Pay attention to the first kiss, and you'll find out what kind of a mood she's in, or whether she really likes you (although ... a good man should gauge whether she likes him before that first kiss, but you know. Alcohol and the Y chromosome often don't mix well,) or if it's time to back off.

2. It's not something to get out of the way. If she digs you, treat kissing as lovemaking, and surprising things will come to pass.
Jul. 29th, 2008 06:56 am (UTC)
I agree with ya. I think dolphins know a lot more about all that than /we/ do :)
( 20 whispered — Speak )


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