Creeping Through The Cellar Door (none_too_subtle) wrote,
Creeping Through The Cellar Door
none_too_subtle

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"Don't ever question my orders in front of another officer again."


Lady Macbeth
Which psycho Shakespearean chick are you?brought to you by Quizilla

EWwww! I wouldn't be Lady Macbeth! I'm not eveeel. I just play one on T.V.

This Weekend in a Blur
It's all one big blur to me right now, as active as we were. Forgot K's library book, and I hafta make a trip halfway across town to get it. Arghhhh. I should make her somehow responsible. But her lil feet won't reach my car pedals. Hahaha. The townhome is spic and span...ahh! How good it feels to wake up to a daisy-fresh, ready-for-a-commercial townhome that you don't feel the need to rearrange? Wunderbar! Even K's closet (yikesssss) is cleaned and neated, and everything is in its place. She and I have spent all this time like siamese twins, so I haven't had any time to jot down any notes (which is good...hmm...K or the journal? No contest). However, her biting me is getting out of control. I finally bit back. She has a HUGE bite mark on her leg (how was I to know her skin was so sensitive?). I warned her close to 100 times to stop biting, but to no avail. :F

Phone love with AmSouth customer service
Eh-gads. If it's gonna happen...no, I won't finish that statement. I called the bank today, and got some guy who lives in Florida on the other end. Typically, the people I get -- either in utility companies or banks -- are chicks who decide I'm the one to tell their relationship problems with. I know these guys have phone limits! LOL. Anyway, today I got a guy who's an ex Army Ranger turned banker. The conversation lasted more than an hour easily, and was too funny. Why did I call the bank? I don't even remember at this point. But I'm wondering what incited that conversation? I ended up telling him I'd never marry him because his last name didn't sound like profanity (hahaha...inside joke my real friends would understand). Um...something's heinously wrong when you're becoming affianced to a stranger who controls your money, that's all I'm saying. And they say internet love is bad...

Off to Mimi's
And we're off. K's at her Mimi's doing their normal Sunday dinner/family bondage thing. I miss her already, even though she'll be back later on :( It's suddenly quiet, and I have nothing to laugh with or at. Funny, how our children are like that.

Sex Ed taught too early in schools
K's not one to talk about it often, but today we get into the conversation, once again, about Star Lake and her catching turtles. Tomorrow, they're going to learn all about the stages of human growth and sexuality *gulp*. Mind you, they already learned about 'boys and girls' in the THIRD grade. What are they gonna teach them this year? The freakin' Kama Sutra?! Being a staunch advocate (and I don't careeeee what you guys think about this one) of Right to Life, K and I embark on a conversation about marriage FIRST. I told her that 'if' she ever found herself, you know, at Starlake, and a baby turtle happened, to come to me and work it out (vs. Wade vs. Roe).

She looked at me solomnly and said: "Mom? I promise, I'm never gettin' busy with a turtle."

BAAAA HA HA HA HA HA. Okay, it was funny, but she got it. I tried not to laugh, since this IS a very serious subject. She noticed and said: "I know you wanna laugh. Go ahead, because that was funny." And then, she said: "And don't think I'm unaware of why you had your tubes tied."

........silence on my end......thinking, thinking, trying to worm my way out of it.........

Me: "Sweetie, you don't know why I did that. We'll talk about it when you're older."

She: "Ohhhhhhh yes I do."

Me, getting impatient: "Sweetheart, no you don't. Plus, you can have a tubal reversed you know."

She...now laughing at my being uncomfortable: "You had your tubes tied just in case you wanna get busy!" That was SO NOT FUNNNNYYY. I told her that chances were I'd get busy with a turtle at Star Lake before I'd get 'busy' with any guy walking the face of the earth. LOL. She bursted out laughing and said: "MOM! I can just see you now, on top of a poor turtle."

UM. WHAT DOES SHE KNOW ABOUT ON TOP? Now I'm REALLY scared. I ask to change the subject, anything but this, and she goes into details about how they learn this stuff in school. THAT'S...JUST...GREAT. Let's give them hand's on instruction on how to get busy using the Kama Sutra as their guide. OMG. I'm freaking out, and tell her to come to ME instead of her friends if she wonders about all that. I won't go through the REST of the conversation, but er...I'll just say for the record I'm SO GLAD she's a tomboy, and could honestly care less about anything sexual, would much rather catch turtles and dissect octopi (oh yeah; she went into graphic detail about her trip, and subsequent dissection of a male octopus. I almost lost my deenar).

Rollin', rollin', rollin'...
My tailbone is STILL hurting, and I'm having a problemo getting around. It's healing, but not quick enough, and as a result I don't get enough sleep. I'm angry as a hornet. So don't be giving me your pro choice opinions right now unless you're prepared to face off with me on the phone or in person, Mmmmkay? I was captain of my debate team. EASY, KILLERS.

I think the cleansers in the house are making me a lil sick to my stomach (or perhaps eating all weekend); so I'm going to take a much-needed nap.

Don't even get me started on the 'female war hero.' Oh no; we don't want to go THERE.

That is all. Roger?
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