Creeping Through The Cellar Door (none_too_subtle) wrote,
Creeping Through The Cellar Door
none_too_subtle

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There's no freakin' escape, and nothing FUN about it.



Subj: WHY UPS????
Date: 4/19/03 6:44:35 PM Eastern Daylight Time
From: T Bastedo
To: customerservice@funmatrix.com

I just ordered a Spirograph for my daughter. I have searched for almost a year to find this item, and was relieved to see that it's very inexpensive; but to have it sent basic delivery from you guys, (who ironically entitled my order FUN Matrix Delivery), requires a 'basic delivery fee' that is more costly than the item itself. While you can't put a price on a child's happiness, I must confess my serious disappointment when I noticed your ONLY delivery options are...UPS 1, 2 and 3 (yes -- even the bottom-feeder delivery was more expensive than the item).

Since I have an unhealthy relationship with the UPS man, and he with I, this will be a most unfortunate exchange if he does not drop the package off at my door. UPS IS NOTORIOUS for not even ringing the doorbell when they deliver; you hear the clanking noise from the next county over, prepare to chase him down, and when he does show up, he's like the mailman from the movie Funny Farm with Chevy Chase. He drives by at 100 mph, throws a "SORRY YOU'RE NOT HOME AND I'M LEAVING" sticker on the front porch, and jets out of here like Mario Andretti in a good truck gone bad.

Please make a note on this order for UPS to LEAVE THE PACKAGE AT THE DOOR, whether I answer it or not!!! This is VERY IMPORTANT. Because this time, if he doesn't at LEAST ring the doorbell, I'm going to be forced to really hurt him. You'll be responsible, since UPS is your only delivery option. You don't want to feel all bad about that, do you?

If you guys can't do this, then I will have to cancel this order. FedEx, U.S. Postal and ALL OTHER delivery services WILL leave packages, and WILL wait on you no matter how long it takes to get to the door. I don't have the luxury nor the time of 'running down the street' to catch the UPS man (like I did last time they 'attempted delivery'). Let me know if you can tell them specifically to LEAVE THE PACKAGE. I live in a very safe neighborhood, and if you guys cannot spare his life by jotting down a note, then I don't want to deal with the delivery hell.

Thanks --
Terri Bastedo

...and their response...

</i>Subj: FUN matrix Order: Spirograph
Date: 4/19/03 8:26:14 PM Eastern Daylight Time
From: customerservice@funmatrix.com
To: TBastedo@aol.com

Hi Terri,

We will try our best to help. We also want your child to be happy, which is why we delivery top quality toys and items to our customers. We will put a note by the UPS label on your package to leave at your door even if you are not home. But we cannot guarantee that UPS will heed the instructions. Unfortunately at this time we cannot use other shipping methods but we hope to in the future. Thanks again for your order.

Customer Service / FUN matrix</i>


Yeah. Allright. We'll see about all that. K's birthday IS coming up soon. Whatchoo wanna bet it won't be here by then?!?
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