Creeping Through The Cellar Door (none_too_subtle) wrote,
Creeping Through The Cellar Door
none_too_subtle

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Look out for tha....but it was TOOOOO late.

While fretting in traffic this morning, I decided NOT to focus my typical, travel anger on other (stupid) drivers, but instead on my loverly environment. Cruising along at a whopping 2 mph, I passed a sign at a gas station that read: "Don't read these signs! Keep your eyes on the road!" Baaaaa ha ha ha. That struck me as a lil funny. Okay, maybe not that funny, but at the time...I considered my road rage, my diversion, and decided if I looked around more, I might not kill the girl (and it usually IS a fem who's scrooging up in traffic) in front/beside/behind me. :) It was enough to make me smile at least, and not immediately begrudge the 8 million drivers AHEAD of me crawling at 1 mph the rest of the way into work. GEEZ. So NOW, I'm suffering from PTSS (Post Traffic Stress Syndrome). Better that I become angry HERE than on the road, eh? No? Agree with me, or I'll poke that eye out...

MY ACHING BACK

Ain't somethin' always achin' on me?! I feel like the Elephant Man right now, as if I'm walking and leaning to the right. My lower back muscles are KILLING me. We won't get into it. But...stay off the couch! You'll misalign your back, and quite possibly all 2,000 of your body parts. You could even have a psyeudo appendicitis...hahahah :D (wink). Ok, we won't go there either. I'm rambling, but it's okay, because this is MINES.

Special K

She's TOO FUNNY. I am constantly reminded of why children laugh 154 times a day versus an adult's four (on average...I'm a little different, because I laugh constantly thinking of myself naked...:D). She's hilarious, and I've been in tears most of this afternoon. The older she gets, the more mature and hilarious her stories become. She's a lil writer just waiting to happen :D She squirreled away a neat painting she did in art for me which is incredible. I wonder if she'll be swayed from now until high school into changing her college major from Veternarian to artiste. She definitely has a knack for it (but also excels academically, particularly in math and science). Now if I could just get all the drivers who follow my path to work to think like her, we'd all live in a perfect world.

There IS one driver that made me laugh :) While stuck (again in the same morning traffic), I started purveying the surrounding cars, what the drivers were doing (and ew, someone was picking his nose! OMG), when I noticed a couple of cars' ahead of me a bumper sticker that read: "Honk if You're Elvis." AGAIN! UM...YOU GOT THAT RIGHT. I SURELY DID. Enough said about that. :D So did several others :) And it stopped the nose miner, who decided to smile at me (as if I didn't see him digging for gold just seconds earlier...the NERVE...and AS IF).

The office mole

ARGH. Okay. It's reached an almost intolerable point for me, and I'm one step away from cutting this employee's ear off, or at least finding a way to get rid of 'it'. :) The mole is literally making me crazy, I kid thee not (and the mole shall remain genderless in my eyes). I've made the Co. Pres. aware of this (I'm not the type to hold anything back...lol), and he assures me he'll take care of it, while throwing in the fact that this freak thinks I'm sexy. OH GREAT. SO??? I didn't NEED nor WANT to hear that one. The mole lurks around my office door, barges IN to my office whenever it feels like it, and will even interrupt business phone conversations...I'm going to HAVE to take it out. I feel it. I've logged in WAY too many man-hours, too much time, too much work to have this freak make me crazy all day just LOOKING for busy work. I've even gotten flat-out rude with it on MANY occasions (no joke...bad enough to make ANYone cry for mama). Dialogue:

"Heyyyy, (I say to my coworker, nameless of course), where are those reports?"

The Mole, listening in as usual: "Don't YOU look cute today in that little black skirt (or some typical comment made whenever I look like a girl...ech)."

Me: "UM, THIS IS AN A/B conversation. C your way out!!" Junior High? Maybe. But DANG. I can't TAKE IT.

The Mole: "Darlin' you know you love me. Do you want a hard or soft one?" (it thinks it's clever when offering me candy, like I'm a little girl.)

...(the other employee) and I both ignore it, and continue discussing the report.

Me: "GEEZ. (Nameless mole), you're the SINGLE most nosy assed person I've ever worked with, and I kid you not. And as a journalist, I assure you I've worked with the most obnoxious busy-bodies in the universe, but you REALLY take the cake."

Was the mole's feelings hurt? I'm not thinking so. In fact, it went on to make a lame joke. OMG. Did I say OTHER things after it continued commenting on a subject it was NOT invited in to? YES. I'm taking a vote...let it live, or kill it? :D

Enough for today. I only had a couple of minutes to jot down my dullio life; back to Spiderman with K. :)
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