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The Longest Day In HISTORY

Someone entertain/fascinate/shock me!



I'm going MAD. Or at least it seems like I am. Er...I should be doing something, if not for any other reason than to take advantage of the holiday everyone else seems to be participating in. But oooo noooo. Here I sit, behind this machine, typing nonsense that no one reads (or should, because it's boring), and whining about not doing anything on a holiday. Thanks to ladyheatherlly I have a new text trick! Muhahah. No beechin' on your journals. I don't wanna hear it.

But the phones are silent
And that's always a good thing. Not a peep, not a half ring, not a 'caller i.d. blocked,' nothing. :) It's a beautiful day when this happens. Although admittedly, even a salesperson would knock me out of this...ennui I feel right now. I don't often get this way; almost restless, like I'm either missing something or something is out there, waiting for me to find it. What if I do miss something or someone? I could. This feeling is fairly strong, and I really trust my intuition. Something's going on, I can smell it. And I'm thinking I'm missing out. Should've gone with Birmingham five oh. Nah; surely, that's not it...

Krippy Kreme
Mmmmmm doughnuts. Yum. That's my fare for yesterday and today. I know, I know, no protein in them (which I desperately need right now). But they're delish and trick me into thinking I'm full :D Made a last minute decision and dashed off yesterday to pick some up. Ran into the most stupid traffic in history, and wanted to start yelling, honking, etc. I refrained. This morning, some elderly man glared at me. THE NERVE! HOW DARE HE? I was going 35 in a 30 MPH speed zone. He looked at me as if I was going 150. Or maybe he was just looking; but whatever the case it made me angry enough so that when I went BACK by him, I nodded my head back and forth, in psyuedo-sympathy. "Angry Old Men." Yep. They are. I think women mellow out after menopause. But men? Uh...they get angry. Is it because um...John Thomas ain't what it used to be or what?! I think that's it. Men are dictated by it from birth until death; and we are its victims. GOODY. We don't even want me to go through the phases of life MEN enjoy; for that list ain't pretty. Not that ours is, either (but some of us know how to lessen the effects of time). When you start going bald, and find it necessary to trim your nose and ear hair? You got that lil thing going on that precludes your mid-life crisis. After that (and your unsatisfactory gf/affair/nothingness, especially from your wife), you become "Angry Old Men." That's when John Thomas just doesn't care anymore. But your thoughts are still ruled by it, if not angered. Bahahahaha. It's some cruel, biological joke being played on us, since boys go through their prime between 17-22 and we, between 30-45. That um...kinda bites. Cruel, I tell you. At least when WE go through that change, we don't become angry at the world because of one body part that refuses to participate. BWhahaha. There's that. Uh. I really am bored. I need to be slapped or something. No, wait -- I'm already silly, so don't slap me; spank me. :P

Roommate nos and woahs
I need one! NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. Where to advertise and find a decent one?! This is a great place to share, and a waste of space as it is right now. I'm about to sell whatever WILL sell (if I can't eat it); so there'll be even more room. Maybe I should start a college commune...or something. Plant shiite in the backyard, walk around singing "If I Had a Hammer...", braid my hair, and refuse to shave...ever. Surely, there's one, single, decent person in Birmingham who needs a roommate! If so, get in touch with moi.

Now I'm starting to bore myself, so Imma gone end it here.

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Creeping Through The Cellar Door

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Words.

Here is Belladonna, the Lady of the Rocks,
The lady of situations.
Here is the man with three staves, and here the Wheel,
And here is the one-eyed merchant, and this card
Which is blank, is something that he carries on his back,
Which I am forbidden to see. I do not find
The Hanged Man. Fear death by water.
I see crowds of people, walking round in a ring.
Thank you. If you see dear Mrs. Equitone,
Tell her I bring the horoscope myself;

One must be so careful these days.
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