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Spawnage of the day

Went to dreaded Publix and spent more money than EVERRRRRR on regular schtuff (whiskers, new trash can, etc. etc.). So, I told the bagger to put all the stuff he could into the trash can so Adele could hold it on the way home (since clearly, it WON'T fit in a Miata with $200 worth of groceries on top of all that in my trunk; the trunk holds about a loaf of bread; and I'm a SUPER BARGAIN shopper, so we had twice the food for the price).

The comedy on the way home, after the comedy inside the store:

Adele: GAH MOM. This trash can weighs 574328597 pounds, and is crushing my bladder. I'VE GOTTA PEE. Plus, I can't SEE anything.

Me: Hahahahah. You don't HAVE TO SEE; you're not DRIVING. Now you see how *I* felt, having you ride on my bladder for nine months, which, incidentally, made me pee every hour and killed any ideas of future sex. *preened, laughed, etc.*

Adele: *glares* It's ALSO making my arm numb and CRUSHING MY HIPBONE.

Me: Good! Maybe THAT will kill YOUR sexual future.

Adele: GREAT.

Me: *sideways eye-balling her* What SEXUAL FUTURE? YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE ONE.

Adele:

"EXACTLY."



I really *should* record our daily interaction. It's freakin' hilarious. LOL. We could be comedy a-deux. When I told her this she said: "I'M NOT HUNGRY."

*blink*



Oooooo I see; she's STILL making fun of me from last night...greaaaat.

Waaaaaaaahahahaahaha. Ya had to be there.

Comments

( 3 whispered — Whisper to me )
mintytrina
Jul. 22nd, 2004 02:12 pm (UTC)
i loooooove these posts!! :D
none_too_subtle
Jul. 22nd, 2004 02:16 pm (UTC)
OMG
I swear to GOD, if I recorded all of our 'goofy/funny/weirdo' conversations, you'd pee your pants. Seriously. It's a RIOT when we're together 24/7. LOLOL :-D

See, this is why kids laugh 154 times a day. And why adults only laugh 4. However, since she's with me all the time, I'm laughing about 5738925798 times a day because of her smart (aced) quips :-D :D

Whenever we go to Publix, OMG. There's a chick who works pricing stuff, and ALWAYS follows us around (like a groupie or something). She laughs the whole time, usually when Adele is saying something "smart" or funny. LOL. :-D
none_too_subtle
Jul. 22nd, 2004 02:22 pm (UTC)
FYI
I'm also trying the ole 'demystifying sex and alcohol' trick with her, by talking about it ALL. THE. TIME. and so she thinks both are just NASTY and GROSS. HAHAHA. Every time we go to Publix, I tell her "Go ahead, get wine and beer, then get sick so you're not all curious about it in a few years."

She always glares at me, and tell me that I'm "ruining her teenage years."

HAHAHAHAHA. *cough*
( 3 whispered — Whisper to me )

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none_too_subtle
Creeping Through The Cellar Door

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Words.

Here is Belladonna, the Lady of the Rocks,
The lady of situations.
Here is the man with three staves, and here the Wheel,
And here is the one-eyed merchant, and this card
Which is blank, is something that he carries on his back,
Which I am forbidden to see. I do not find
The Hanged Man. Fear death by water.
I see crowds of people, walking round in a ring.
Thank you. If you see dear Mrs. Equitone,
Tell her I bring the horoscope myself;

One must be so careful these days.

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