|How NOT to look
..and what not to DO. A Tutorial by yours truly.
The above is how NOT to look. But more important, is what not to do...I've broken every single one of my self-imposed guy rules today with ONE PERSON.
What happened to the me before my "big decision" move?! Ack. Never in my life have I had these man-problems/issues/questions! Eh gads. Yeah, he's cute (and it's funny, because his department calls him Clark Kent, too), and he's smart (and shy, which we all know I lurve). But OMG. I've had ALL that (and probably more) in my life. Why does NOW make a difference?!
Oh. I went FISHING. I never ever "go fish" with guys. I don't HAVE to. I KNOW how they feel. Not so with shy guy. GAWD, I'M THE BIGGEST DORK EVER.
He knows ALL ABOUT LIVEJOURNAL. I am horrified. Umm...how do you change literally WEEKS of journaling about yer lil high school crush without him inevitably stumbling on it? You CAN'T. *SCREAMS*
During our e-mail, he used the word "platonic." Not in the sense of "we're platonic/will be platonic/etc." as he so cleverly explained later, but as in "Such as what if". UMMMM. I pointed out to him that his subconscious was trying to TELL HIM that this is how he views me. Yeahhhhhhhhhh, let's DERAIL THE WHOLE THING. BEFORE it starts. O_o
WHAT IS WRONGGGGGGGG WITH ME??
I am now, officially, and unequivocably socially dysfunctional for sure. And I've done it to myself. Mkay, admittedly the warden had some minor role in all this, but STILL. Every piece of advice I've ever given to chicks who ask, I've done the opposite of in ONE DAY.
I'm never going back to work again. EVER.
No, not going to see him tonight, although that could've been an option. What did I do? OH NO. I CAN'T. Don't ask (if you're reading this far).
And THEN, I make it PERFECT by coming in here, and telling 37582957982 people about how I humiliated myself, complete with ARTWORK. SMART. I AM SOO SMART! Hahaha.
Let's all point and laugh at the desperate chick.
GEEZ. Diane? Trust me on this -- DO NOT do the "let me get to know ME" thing like I did. Hahahah. Otherwise, you'll turn from independent, happily secure and satisfied chick in to I DON'T WANNA BE A CAT LADY FREAK SO HELP chick. See how this is all playing out?
And now I've made such an issue out of it, that I CAN'T GO OUT WITH HIM, because now, we'll both be all eye-balling each other, wondering what the OTHER one is thinking.
It's a no-win situation. Meh!
Other things happened today. I even had some interesting dreams that I intended to write about. But see? I CAN'T.
Okay -- I met the freakin' POPE. I'd make a list of "People Who Would Outrank Him In The Game Of Life" but it would sound shamefully self-promoting so I won't. But it doeth beg the question of why him, why now, and WHY WHY WHY?
No more thinking about him. In fact, if any communication occurs, it'll be up to him. He did say today that he has NEVER in his life initiated a date/etc. with anyone; they always have asked him first (100% of the time). I almost said "but you said this morning that you were thinking about asking me to lunch/beer after work/dinner/etc." but shut my yap just in time.
Er. Maybe not. I need to shut it NOW.
|This was how I acted
All "hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii studdddddddd."
OMG. There's no hope.
That pretty much sums me up today. Hahahaha.
Color me BEYOND mortified. I'm ashamed of myself. LOL. In a funny kinda way. And OMG, I FORGOT... I remember thinking, whilst visiting the girly room "I can still bear children!" No, no -- not because I was thinking "I want to have his children" but because I was *somehow* justifying my womanhood/sessiness/whatever-ness.
I'm just sayin'. Aaaaaaahahaha. Okay. NOW you may point and laugh :-D