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Gads, I haven't been /this/ disinterested or away from journaling in...years. I really can't attribute it to having a life, since I've HAD a life before I stopped having one, yet still maintained a journal daily. Maybe it's all the negative energy, or nothing really good to say that I've got going on that makes me reluctant to pen my thoughts and occurrences.

Not that it's /all/ bad. And the REALLY good stuff, I'm sooooo not gonna get in to in an open entry :>

This year has literally flown by. It's December, and GEEZ, IT WAS JUST JANUARY. This job is literally taking my life away, sucking the theoretical marrow from my gray matter, leaving me wrung out by the end of every day, only to wake up and do it all over again the next day. Well, except for those few moments/hours? of levity, wherein I do have a good time and can't talk about it.

Woo. Lemme be more obscure than that.

Christmas is HERE. I'm PRAYING we get the same bonus we got last year. If not, then I'm afraid that Kelsey -- who claims she wants nor needs a thing -- will get just that. Not even going to journal the MBPD portion of my check that's going out. Although I could've enlisted help which was offered, I figured that there would be something horrible in exchange for it so I declined. *sigh* Yes, I am being more obscure. I probably won't even understand this entry next year. Probably a good thing, I'm thinkin'.

BUT on a good note, not only did everyone get along during Thanksgiving, but it seems /almost/ like my sister-in-law and her daughter are trying...to...hm? Reach out and rebuild our relationship? Not sure. I never have understood why the sis-in-law had problems to start with (with me), but I've accepted it, and gone about my merry way. So that makes me kinda happy. Kelsey's doing great in school, socially and emotionally, so THAT'S a good thing. Everybody who comes by my office notices the "I Love Kelsey" shrine displayed around me, telling me that she looks just like me, and is gorgeous. Of course, I then tell them AWWWWWWWW YOU THINK I'M GORGEOUS! THAT'S SO SWEET! Yeah. Hilarity ensues, as well it should. :> :D

Today is horrible, cold and gray. And I have to make a trip to probably the busiest part of town right after work. Road rage to and from work is bad enough. But THIS trip is going to be the death of me (or someone else). Note to self. Ugh. I woke up feeling SO sick. In the middle of the night, I had cold chills, and my skin literally screamed on my body, it hurt so badly. Ah...speaking of pain...new doctor called (the one taking my doctor-thing's place). She sounds about 14 years' old, and I'm going to make sure they switch me to the Indian guy who has thusfar been taking care of all my medications. While I've never SEEN him, at least he knows my medical issues. When I asked her if she'd looked at my file, she said that "she didn't have time to go through all the veteran files...". Not a good sign. I don't want to roll the dice with her. So...hopefully, I can get an appointment after the beginning of the year, since I have ZERO time left to take off now. And our new supervisor is VERY MUCH against flex time. I'll keep my thoughts to myself about that one. But no more making up time on the weekends. Greaaaaaaaaaaaaaa t. All of us /counted/ on those Saturdays and Sundays. The grumbling is incessant, and this cloud of doom seems to hover over my general area. How I long for the happier days around here.

And since I'm such a joy, and bumming myself out just writing all this out, I'll make haste and get back to it. Needed to remind myself of a couple of things (plus new patch put on this morning...need to tag it), and come up for air without revealing too much or too little of what's really going on.

Er...since it was so obscure, however, and I can feel myself literally editing as I write, this is kinda moot. Might as well make a completely private entry (as I've done a lot lately). Even my friend's list seems barren. Maybe we're all kinda synchronized. One stops, we all stop. Or something. I have, however, gotten SO FAR behind reading my friend's list that to try and catch up would be futile.

Yeah. So I'm getting back to work. Lunch is almost over.


( 4 whispered — Whisper to me )
Dec. 1st, 2005 08:20 pm (UTC)
I was thinking the same thing today - what happened to this year and how did it get to be December already?
Dec. 1st, 2005 08:35 pm (UTC)
It's freaky. And I'm forced to ask myself...what have I /done/ this year??? I mean...really.

Ugh. Don't even want to go there.
Dec. 2nd, 2005 12:41 am (UTC)
hate to be an optimist, as it goes against my nature (and with all the crap rolling about in my little drama called a life i doubt it sometimes), but things always get better. i promise.

Dec. 23rd, 2005 08:16 pm (UTC)
I dunno...it does get better, then crashes...wash, rinse, repeat. Grr.
( 4 whispered — Whisper to me )


Eye see, Open your eyes
Creeping Through The Cellar Door

Latest Month

June 2019


Here is Belladonna, the Lady of the Rocks,
The lady of situations.
Here is the man with three staves, and here the Wheel,
And here is the one-eyed merchant, and this card
Which is blank, is something that he carries on his back,
Which I am forbidden to see. I do not find
The Hanged Man. Fear death by water.
I see crowds of people, walking round in a ring.
Thank you. If you see dear Mrs. Equitone,
Tell her I bring the horoscope myself;

One must be so careful these days.


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