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...asking "What do they SAY to each other? What...do they say?"



My rhetorical question I feel has been unequivocally answered; for just as in a theoretical junior-high romance, the reality of it lasted just as long. Days feel like weeks, but in the end, a couple starting out from the gate like that rarely makes it to any finish line, much less a next level.

Not my words. Next level, I mean.

Honestly, I hate it when I'm proven right. I really do. More and more, my hypotheses are wont to be pessimistic versus optimistic. Typically, I'm on the money. Oh, indeed, I'm on the money with the optimistic ones, as well.

Usually. But frighteningly TOO GOOD with the pessimism, the...rightness of my "good things gone bad" guesses.

While it's true that time -- our greatest enemy and often ally -- will tell, it's such a small window that to count on it could be to lose a hand.

Or a neck.

Or an I. Or E. (Except after sea.)



The maelstrom of this week finally came to a head, resolutions, I thought, were made, feet, I thought, firmly planted in the ground. And thennnnn...boom.

I'm hoping this is just a matter of...fatigue. Or...something. I hope I am being overly analytical in this matter, and that really, it's simpler and all will be greaaaaat by the time the sun sets.

But that whispering voice in my ear, the one which represents pessimism and reason, is telling me to dream on.

And so I do. Happily, I know when to wake up. I know when to journal my dreams, and when to simply leave them locked up in the dark recesses of my endless, cerebral filing cabinets, unattended and waiting for the next opportunity to let someone in, and then give them WIDE berth of reason, and THEN, further, watch as they unfurl so much that their flag can't possible withstand the flimsy pole from which it comes.

And it falls softly to the ground. With time, it becomes trampled, lost, forgotten, even. Time does that. We can learn from this, truly, but mourn it -- particularly since the unfurling was so quick -- would be a gross waste of time.

Even if love was introduced. Because that's no one's definition. Not even The Warden's.

And that, really is perhaps the worst thing of it all.



"But daddy, I ate my ham sandwich like you asked me!"
"Sweetheart, I'll give you chance after chance if you'll throw a bone my way every year or so!"
"Darling, I'll forgive you for neglecting me, because I know that whatever it was had to be more important than, say, keeping your word to me!"
"LOVE has no boundaries, no limits, no shame, no grief, no regrets."



Love is fleeting? Never.

Love is the heart's real estate. That's how you know, you see, if you love and are loved back. Your lover is a tenant in your heart -- sometimes late with the rent, sometimes too noisy at night, but the one tenant you'll never kick out. Once you love, that tenant resides there forever, and no one -- no matter how hard they try -- can ever fill the space of your love. While some have large condominiums full of space, others are quite limited.

Mine is a small, compact but prestigious little handful. None of which I have to question, none of whom are GROSSLY negligent about the noise or the rent, and all of whom are loyally staying right there, tucked away in their hard-earned places of my heart's warm shelter.

I wonder why we didn't choose the liver. Or perhaps the spleen? What is it about the heart that we put so much importance on? It's just an organ like any other. Vital, yes. But wouldn't the BRAIN be more appropriate? Just sayin'. Makes more sense to me. Plus, the brain is larger and could house more people to love, right?



Wrong. The brain is, after all, so much smarter than the heart could ever be.

Comments

( 14 whispered — Whisper to me )
jesusrock7
Feb. 19th, 2006 12:04 am (UTC)
>> I wonder why we didn't choose the liver. Or perhaps the spleen? What is it about the heart that we put so much importance on? It's just an organ like any other. Vital, yes. But wouldn't the BRAIN be more appropriate? Just sayin'. Makes more sense to me. Plus, the brain is larger and could house more people to love, right?

Hey, be glad we don't live in the Old Testament...back then the "seat of the emotions" was -- do you know? Our bowels! (No joke, I swear!!)
luindur
Feb. 19th, 2006 12:07 am (UTC)
So if we lived back then could we get away with saying, "I love you like the way shit flows from my body"?
none_too_subtle
Feb. 19th, 2006 02:43 am (UTC)
EASY. Both of us are christians :> ;p
jesusrock7
Feb. 19th, 2006 06:40 pm (UTC)
Aaa-men!

By the way, I got that bit of trivia from Christian comedian Mark Lowry's album Mouth in Motion.

none_too_subtle
Feb. 19th, 2006 02:41 am (UTC)
EEKS!

We should discuss the King James version of the Bible someday. You'd be AMAZED at how "loosely" it was transcribed, so much left out and misinterpreted that we've basically grown up (if you're Christian and have always attended services) learning limited beliefs. My theological quest has taken me many places, and it makes me kinda sad the way the King James' version even came to be in existence.

But I'm straying WAY OFF the subject :>
jesusrock7
Feb. 19th, 2006 07:55 pm (UTC)
Make that a new LJ entry or something; I would be interested in learning what you know on that!
none_too_subtle
Feb. 19th, 2006 08:27 pm (UTC)
Honestly, what I do know on that could (or has the potential to) totally make Christians "question" what's real and what's not. I think to make an entry about how the Bible came about (or at least ours -- the King James version) would be detrimental. The guy I'm seeing knows Greek; so I'm going to get him to interpret the /real/ thing (or pieces I'm particularly interested in) for me. I wish I knew someone who knew Aramaec; but am afraid it's a lost art. I'd have to go to the Vatican and really dig around for some old Bishop to find such a learned man :>

I was shocked, to put it mildly, when I learned the truth of it. Which is why I'm ecumenical now. I believe all of us have to look within ourselves and simply use the tools we have available (those more knowledgeable, books, resources) to find our particular truth, the one we know in our hearts and the one that is irrefutable to us. I could go on about this but shall resist the urge :)

Simply acknowledging I am Christian is...hm, not satisfying, but I know I'm doing my job AS a Christian by doing so. I feel those who are furthest from God, He sits closest to. So like reading or not, there are many who'll read THIS (and other entries), who are agnostic, don't believe, or have been turned off from "God" (or religion, specifically) and absorb what I say. Then again, I write about my very human nature; and if you don't know, truly, what it is to BE a Christian, you might call me a hypocrite :D LOL. :)

Judge not, eh? :) I have many friends who're agnostic, athiest, pagan and also Jewish (while we're listing those who don't believe as we do), and I love them just as much (some moreso!) as my Christian friends. To me, that's really the whole, entire point of being one.
jesusrock7
Feb. 21st, 2006 02:11 am (UTC)
T,

I'm not pursuing this for the sake of discussion or debate, actually. I'm just curious to read what you've learned. I wouldn't make it a continuous back-and-forth with you on comments.

There's so many different translations, some insist that *theirs* is the most accurate. I am sure KJV isn't--with all the "thees" and "thous"--but...ya know? I wonder if we'll automatically /know/ Aramaic once we arrive Home. ;-)

Simply acknowledging I am Christian is...hm, not satisfying, but I know I'm doing my job AS a Christian by doing so.

So...it's our /job/ to acknowledge that we're Christians? Hadn't thought of it like that. I hope and pray that "they'll know we are Christians by our love", and that our actions would speak for us.

I feel those who are furthest from God, He sits closest to.

Definitely. Last night at church we had a Young Adults meeting after the service. The YA pastor, I think, was talking about making the most of every opportunity to share Christ (Eph. 5:14-16, Col. 4:5-6). He shared about a mission trip to South America he was on; while talking to an atheist, though he didn't know much Spanish, the only thing he could actually say is "God loves you." That atheist immediately broke down in tears and became a Christian; he completely turned around and started sharing Christ with a friend.

So like reading or not, there are many who'll read THIS (and other entries), who are agnostic, don't believe, or have been turned off from "God" (or religion, specifically) and absorb what I say. Then again, I write about my very human nature; and if you don't know, truly, what it is to BE a Christian, you might call me a hypocrite :D LOL. :)

You may be the only Bible someone ever "reads", as they say. If you think about it, there's only 2 types of people: hypocrites, and /forgiven/ hypocrites. God never promised that His way would be easy, just that it's worth it -- with a retirement plan that's out of this world! *LOL*
none_too_subtle
Feb. 21st, 2006 02:42 am (UTC)
Nah; my journal isn't the place for a discussion or debate on the history of the King James bible. I mean, if I wanted to keep a diary of it, I'd certainly do it. But...I don't have to. Keep in mind that I do try to keep this as close to a diary as possible. I'm old-school-on-line-diary-keeper, back before they all became "open forums" for people to "send messages."

Doesn't matter how you word it (job, responsibility, obligation); the issue is making your point and being unashamed of it. While I can post pics of my butt with NO problem, I'm still a Christian. It makes me no better and no worse than anyone who happens upon the pages of my "diary."

Zealots are the ones who definitely "scare off" those who /might/ stand a chance, if they weren't so heavily-leaned on by christians who simply don't relax, and accept life as it comes. I've learned that you can affect a great deal more people by NOT being this way, which is why it might be rare that I'll write about it, but I don't make it a secret (and also why I still keep friends/people on my list who I know don't CARE about christianity). Only through the way we live our lives -- the real ones, outside helping people, doing a good job, learning humility, empathy, sympathy and giving others hope do we really do our "jobs" as Christians. That's why the Green verision is SO much better. It's clearer.
none_too_subtle
Feb. 21st, 2006 02:45 am (UTC)
P.S.
It's not really ABOUT the "translation" or us "knowing the language." If we learn why we're here, we've learned the great plan for all of us. That is ALL that counts, and what all religions DO have in common. Of course, it's each individuals job to learn this; not for others to tell you your truth. It's taken me years (a lifetime) of searching for mine. So...the journey is rough, and you'll learn new things; but it's well worth your travels.
jesusrock7
Feb. 21st, 2006 02:12 am (UTC)
PS.
If you don't want to post that stuff, just drop me an e-mail instead.
none_too_subtle
Feb. 21st, 2006 02:48 am (UTC)
Re: PS.
See, this is more of an interactive, free-flowing discussion-type subject, the kind you have in person (or as close to it as possible). E-mail would only open up MORE questions and it would NEVER END! LOL :) I'm sure any knowledgeable theologist or man of the cloth/woman could teach ya how it came about and why. I'd love to spend a weekend with you just sharing what I've learned through the years. Alas, I think we're too far apart. *le sigh*
luindur
Feb. 19th, 2006 12:06 am (UTC)
It's funny, I read this post and then went, hmmmmmm?!?!?!?!?!? Then I saw your current mood and everything was explained and made a lot more sense, even though you said "making no sense."

I think the heart gets the most recognition, at least in regards to love, because of the symbolism that it is able to represent as the one organ that provides life to all of our body parts.

Keep stong, the weekend isnt even half way over yet!!!
none_too_subtle
Feb. 19th, 2006 02:45 am (UTC)
You were on the money with your last sentence, oddly. Although I was *this close* to doing "my running thing." Oooooo yeah.

Actually, in my head it makes tons of sense (hence a journal). I don't do the typical journaler thing (they wrote to audiences; I'm talking to myself). So...:) That's why you'll often read obscure, vague entries and wonder WTH?
( 14 whispered — Whisper to me )

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Words.

Here is Belladonna, the Lady of the Rocks,
The lady of situations.
Here is the man with three staves, and here the Wheel,
And here is the one-eyed merchant, and this card
Which is blank, is something that he carries on his back,
Which I am forbidden to see. I do not find
The Hanged Man. Fear death by water.
I see crowds of people, walking round in a ring.
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Tell her I bring the horoscope myself;

One must be so careful these days.

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