Creeping Through The Cellar Door (none_too_subtle) wrote,
Creeping Through The Cellar Door
none_too_subtle

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Letter to my spawn [edit two/another pic and PPPPPPPS]


While the kid's away... While the kid's away...

...the mom will play.

WITH HER WARDROBE

*evil laugh*


___________________________________________
Dear Kelsey:

Hi sweetheart!!

While I realize that we all need a NICE DISNEY WORLD VACATION, don't worry about me, slaving away over a hot computer all day. I want you to have a really great time WITHOUT the benefit of at least these two Aeropostle shirts (not to mention my charming company...hrmph).

Now before you get all possessive and crazy on me, I should point out that it didn't escape my attention that the following items have disappeared on me:

  • One of my cool, comfy work shirts
  • My super cool, casual black shoes (that you ALWAYS borrow, and I ALWAYS end up getting back maybe a month later, and THEN have to shine/buff)
  • My favorite pair of silver Egyptian earrings
  • My Tiffany's heart bracelet
  • Several watches
  • SEVERAL pair of cool socks (including one pair each of pink and black fishnets); and
  • My comfiest Victoria's Secret pajamas.

    While I'm not necessarily accusing you, per se, of taking the above-mentioned items, I have noticed you staring at all of these longingly; yet when they were purchased/gifted, you frowned on them in what I now realize was a ploy, intended to trick me into thinking you were disinterested. I mean really, sweetheart; I might be your parent, but I'm not stupid! Am I to honestly believe the pest control man snagged them? C'mon. Don't even try to make excuses.

    How mean! And to your MOM. Who you LOVE!

    So...in spite of ALL THAT, I still love you more than the birds love the morning sky, and wish you well on your wonderful trip. Remember, too, that when I wear your clothes, I feel so much closer to you. Heh. So my actions -- while abhorrent, aren't ENTIRELY selfish.

    Love -
    Your Mom

    P.S. -- Oh, and that pink, lace over-shirt somehow ended up in my dry-cleaning...I'm sure you won't mind if...um...nvrmnd.

    P.P.S. -- That ICON, in fact, gives you away!! The black, netted shirt over my blue Old Navy shirt with an American flag (er, they don't MATCH, SWEETIE) are MINE. See what happens when you and Andrea and/or Ali play with my DIGITAL CAMERA while I'm asleep? SOOOO BUSTED. And I'm sure -- underneath your cascade of beautimous, silky hair, lies a pair of my earrings.




    Oh, almost forgot... Oh, almost forgot...

    I compensated for my pajamas by "borrowing" your "You were never my boyfriend" ones. If you're sweet, I'll give 'em back. :>



    Mkay. Through with all that. :)
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    • 31 comments

    • LiveJournal is 23 today!

      Domain LiveJournal.com was registered on April 15, 1999. The same year, the cult movie "The Matrix" was released, the 6 billionth inhabitant of the…

    • No sugar last night in my coffee

      No sleep. I thought a sleep movie would take me down, but naw -- restless leg wins again by a mile. The movie was bizarre (The Box, for those who…

    • O.o lol

      See anything you like yet? Need help? :D