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Define "normal" (edit uno)

...because it ain't my life.

This past week/weekend was/were so chaotic that it's impossible for me to journal all of it. Suffice it to say, the deathmobile - after just costing me $600 for repair - needs a new water pump. If you know anything about cars, you know it'll run me around $300. I am SICCCCCCCCKKKKKK of the deathmobile punishing me for my driving prowess. Just get me there and back, mkay carra, thnx.

The spawnlette (who shall hereinafter be called by her name) had SO much homework and had to work this weekend. When she works that hard, I just wanna put her in my lap, rock her and rub her head. She works way too hard for a normal teen, taking all AP classes and tending to a job on top of all this. With the undue stress coming from...well, someone significant in her life, it's not fair. She also did an uncanny job at cleaning up the kitchen. She even took shelves out of the fridge and cleaned those, too. :> It's all Pine-Sol-y around here now.

And I discovered she's reading a lot of Hunter S. Thompson. *I* can love him, but SHE can't. Heh. I'm worried about her choice in authors, since they are way too mature for her (or so I think, since she's my baby).

God I can't wait until she's 18. No more obscure passages about...significant people in her life.

I intended to get my hair cut, since it's SUPER long, but haven't had the time. Health is iffy and meds are, too, right now. I'm waiting on a call from the victor alpha right now, in fact. Let's hope they have some good news. Our V.A. was voted #1 in the nation. WHATTHEHELLVA. I know the reason why. When my doctor asked me to take a 'voluntary survey', he called the number, put it on speaker phone and literally watched me answer each satisfaction question. OH YEAH, LIKE IMMA GONNA SAY SOMETHING BAD ABOUT THEM WITH MY MEDICINE-PRESCRIBER STANDING OVER ME. That survey is SO WRONG for this reason, and they need to get an independent polling group to get accurate results.

I'm losing weight again, which isn't so good, but am eating to avoid getting too thin again. My clothes are trying to get baggy which is never a good sign.

Hm...the rest of my life is just boring right now. I am, however, horrified at how all your old buddies from the military and high school can 'tag' you in a photo on Facebook and how all MY friends get to see 'em. The horror. We should have a say on that, I'm thinking, even though I'm rarely - if ever - on Facebook.

Mkay. I'm off today, and gonna go stick my nose in the Kindle :D It's rainy outside, but thankfully not cold. Good, however, to stay in and read until Kelsey gets home.


Since I never look at my profile page, I've NOT noticed V-gifts that you guys have given me. So thank you very much for those V-gifts, and I apologize for not noticing them. I think El Jay should send us notifications when we receive 'em.

The cup-o-joe was particularly nice because it was for no reason :)

And the hits just keep onnnnnnnn comin'

So the freakin' death mobile is still immobile due to ONE BOLT that not ONE MAN on this planet can seem to get off. To add insult to injury, I learned that there were bigger fish to fry regarding my car than just a lil old belt. Now, I'm having to strain my cap to come up with creative ways to pay this guy. I've been sifting through books, jewelry, movies, etc.; anything of value that can be pawned and quick.

There have now been seven unsuccessful attempts at getting that dreaded bolt off. Now, it's stripped, which means that 'Jack' is going to have to heat it out. God only knows what he'll replace it with. A friend of mine feels like we need to punish the bolt, each and every one of us and friends who've had their hands on it. It deserves to be punished. Or maybe the deathmobile does. OR MAYBE I DO. Eeeks.

I had another friend just call and ask if I wanted him to try to get the bolt off (at this point I can only laugh to stop from crying) and told him no. He went on to talk about his brother, and called him a 'techno-tard'. Gotta love making up your own vocabulary :D Tis what I luff about my real life friends; they're pretty good at it.

Open letters

Dear Bret Easton Ellis:

You got lucky in the '80s because everyone was on drugs. Please stop writing now, k?

Love and kisses -

Dear Good Year:

First of all, look at the SIZE OF YOU. Why in the hellia couldn't all you guys get that freakin' bolt off my car? I shouldn't have to pay $90 just for you to tell me you are made up of one BIG HUGE FAIL.

Sloppy kisses -
An angry customer

Dear Life:

PLEASEE turn around for a change. I can't take all this crap you're throwing at me. This is your last warning, lest I fire you.

Your owner.

Dear credit card company:

Like the old Japanese proverb goes "It is useless to push a cart sideways". Pretend I'm the cart while you try to push. See? Doesn't work, and now I'm laying sideways on the floor. How retarded is that? So just stop it.

A cardholder

Dear Spawnlette:

Please stop acting like a teenager. Imma hafta kill you or have you surgically cut off at the knees, which will make you unable to drive your car. You're the one who chose all AP classes this year, so don't look at me sideways when I tell you to study. ;p

Your loving mommy <3

Dear Heater:

Please work consistently. I'm freezing my arse off.

Your condo inhabitant


Dear Mother Nature:

You mock me by sending really awesome weather our way. Are you /trying/ to get on my bad side? It should be storming out there, but OH NO YOU MADE IT PRETTY AND CLEAN AND GREEN AND WARM. I'd like my insides to match your outsides, kaythnx.

An earthling

Since I'm all negative Nelly up in here, I'll resist to continue writing any more about my life and what's going on in it, since doing so really rams it home.

< /rantings

Bored, crazy inmates dancing again.

At least that got a cool outfit out of the whole deal.
Dating Deal Breakers: When It's Time to Get Out
* by StyleCaster

As an eligible single woman, it's only natural to be looking for that significant other who will sweep you off your perfectly pedicured, Louboutin-clad feet. You go out with the girls in hopes of catching the eye of your future Prince Charming and securing that fairytale ending, but sometimes dating trials run amuck, leaving you with an experience that you wish you could have skipped out on.

Dating can be fun, but oftentimes we have to weed out the freaks before we find the ones worth our time. Some guys have idiosyncrasies that are just too much to handle, but what are the real red flags that should send you running in the completely opposite direction? Here are some deal breakers that we think warrant an instant end to the relationship. These guys mean trouble:

The Cheater
This guy plans dates with multiple girls at a time even when you've been seeing each other for a couple of weeks at minimum. He claims he's keeping his options open, but what that really means is that he has commitment issues and that he's somewhat of a player. This guy definitely is not ready to be in a monogamous relationship, so get out before you get hurt. Keep your eyes peeled for his constant checking of text messages and any smirks that may cross his face while he responds.

The Liar
Like the cheater, this guy won't be straight up with you. He'll ignore certain topics you bring up and will try to immediately change the subject. If he can't look you in the eyes when you ask him what he did that day, then there's a problem. This should send you running in the opposite direction before he ends up lying about something much more serious than his daily routine. Obviously this guy has major skeletons in his closet, and you won't want to stick around long enough to find out what they might be.

The Guy that Needs Anger Management
This guy will seem perfect and charming at first, but the more time you spend with him, the more you'll notice all the little things that make him tick... He'll talk to you about how upset he got over something a normal person would shrug off without a second thought. Once he gets comfortable with you, beware. The snapping will most likely get directed at you. Warning: this guy will probably need to punch something (like a wall) to relieve his anger. So get out, because he's bound to turn into an angry, manipulative, control freak in time.
Makeup Tricks to Hide a Sleepless Night

Inappropriate Commentary
This guy's mom never taught him how to properly respect a woman. He probably views you as an object and worships music artists who make a living out of lyrics that oftentimes degrade women. He's the guy that will talk about your rear end beyond the point of sexiness, or he'll comment about other women's assets in front of you. Not okay. Don't get caught up with this type of guy -- he'll only make you feel bad about yourself in the end, and that's a definite deal-breaker.

The Cheapskate
A cheapskate is cheap. He'll take you to dive bars and pinch pennies even if he's not on a budget. Eventually he'll be asking you to foot the bill or join forces when the check comes. Offering to help out with costly dating expenses is only fair when you're in a serious relationship, but if he requests that you foot the bill on the first date, then politely move on.

Poor Hygiene
Chronic bad breath, disgusting body odor, and poor sartorial choices all fall under the category of poor hygiene, which is just plain gross -- and definitely a deal-breaker. Pass on these guys, unless you have a strange fetish for uber-grungy types. You may think you can persuade him to clean up his act, but we never recommend entering a relationship in which you're already scheming to change your man's ways.

The Tease
This guy is just full of empty promises. He'll have a slew of great ideas that just don't come to pass, leaving you high and dry. Don't let him pull you into his negative ways with zero follow-through. It will only turn you into a pessimist, and who wants to be around one of those?

The Mama's Boy
The definition of a mama's boy is a guy with no shame who still lives at home. He'll probably introduce you to his parents right off the bat and tell you that he's still dependent because he's saving up for his so-called "bright future." In our poor economy, we'll give younger twentysomething dudes a break in this case, but let's face it -- if this guy is almost 30, and still shacking up with mom and dad -- DEAL-BREAKER.

The Guy with Weird Friends
This guy takes a while to introduce you to his friends, but once he does, you automatically know why: they're freaks. This should make you wonder about his true character and whether or not you'd be willing to spend a large chunk of your time with these dudes. We think this is your exit cue.

The Napoleon Syndrome
This is the short man with the big mouth who feels the need to be outspoken in order to make up for his vertical challenge. He'll most likely end up embarrassing himself (and you) when you're out in public because of his need for attention. Plus, we'd never want to date a guy who has serious underlying issues with insecurity. Confidence is the ultimate form of sexiness.

I could add on to this list but shall resist the urge. This one covers the mains issues, I'm thinkin'.

Open letters to whomevers

Dear LJ:

Instead of not sending notifications of comments, please regurgitate them all up at one time, instead of choking out a random one-fer or two-fer at a time. You're fired.

Love and sloppy kisses -

Dear Mother Nature:


Thankfully yours -

Dear Deathmobile:

Now that you've beaten up two of my best friends, I think it's time we came to some sort of agreement on how you should behave whilst being worked on. I realize that you're one of those high maintenance types, but typically a Miata M-Class rarely has issues; so what bee's up your damn bonnet? I've had you worked on twice this year, and you throw another surprise in my direction.

If you don't correct yourself, Imma hafta kick that azz.

Your Mistress

Dear Regions Bank N.A.:

While AmSouth didn't give US a choice as to whom they merged, I need to inform you that your card services and employees thereof SUCK. I never had trouble with AmSouth, and this morning's little bit 'o fun was just another in a series of incidences that I've encountered since the merger.

Get it straight, or I'm switching to Wachovia.

Angry in Birmigham -
A customer

Today's GOT TO get better. This is the kind of crap I'm dealing with on a daily basis, and the fun never stops here. I'm just waiting to see which monkey wrench will be slung at me after lunch. Yee Haw.

It has to be said - women in the military

So today - whilst reading the news - I came across an article where the military is about to court martial a soldier who refused to be deployed, due to the fact that she is a single mother with no support system. THANKS, BEOTCH. You've managed to UNDO what women have been striving to prove since we were first allowed to serve our country. Do you honestly think that first, getting pregnant out of wedlock, was a smart move as a soldier??? There are actually rules about all that. And secondly, NOTHING makes you any more special than any other parent. Maybe you should've thought about that while hoing around the base. Or maybe it should've occurred to you before you flat out refused a military order. There are plenty of rules on THAT, also.

I say throw the book slap at her forehead.

And some argue that the military is being too harsh on her. Whatever. She'd be hanging from the courthouse lawn if I had a say in it. Unbelievable. One step forward; 20 back. Sorry, mah sistah, but this ain't civil service nor is it some government "job" where you can just decide you don't want to show up, due to your poor ass judgment, fear, or general laziness (which is what I'm voting on). The military isn't easy, but it's for a good reason. You made the choice to join and committed yourself to it. To disobey a deployment order should warrant you some serious jail time. NOW how's your kid going to grow up??

And no, I don't care who this offends. I spent my time in the military, and have seen this type of "play" made by women with children. It /never/ worked, I might add. They had to go TDY and be on alert just like the rest of us in the end, or get what this chick is getting - an Article 15.

That makes me sick.


The deathmobile and life

After all that scurrying around in November to fix what I thought was a big problem but ended up being a belt issue, I'll be damned if it didn't pop again. Yesterday I was driving in to work when my battery light - just like last time - came on. Frenetically, I redirected myself back home as I didn't want a replay of the LAST time I was stuck on Highway 31 during rush hour.


I swear, I'll love that car until the day it or I die, but it's aging me with all of its little troubles. I have a couple of old high school buddies coming to reaffix the serpantine belt and the carburetor/battery belts so that I'll be happily back on the road without fear.

I've realized lately that in addition to my lack of journaling, I've also developed some sort of leave-the-house phobia. I don't want to leave unless it's absolutely, critically necessary. Very unsocial of me, but that's where this path has led me. Why the drastic changes in my life, I can't answer. And then - when I get the gumption to get out - my car acts up, affirming all the little reasons why I should stay home. Heh. Great.

Kelsey is now able to fit into all my clothes, having sprouted up to my height (almost...one inch shorter) and losing her baby fat. So guess where half my clothes are? I knew her dad would find a way to get ALL my stuff sooner or later. Kelsey is simply the vessel.

And we don't want to talk about Kelsey right now. I'm still miffed over a couple of things, and am hopeful she makes these things right. She doesn't need to start screwing up now that college is so close. *sigh*

I need to start seeing Z again. I'm on the wrong meds and they're not working. So instead of ruining my liver with something that doesn't work, I'll kill it by using something that does. It seems like the Victor Alpha pretty much allows me to write my own prescriptions; at the very least, I 'advise' my doctors as to what I need to be on. I could also use another .5 mgs of Risperidone at night. That stuff is magical for sleep, and I take them at 1 mg. as it is. I also need a referral to my ortho and the ENT for these freakin' sinuses. I just dread going period. They'll find something else wrong and of course my options will be limited as to the treatment thereof. As it is, I'm having to shell out serious cash every month for my fentanyl prescription, since the Victor Alpha took it off its formulary list.

In great news, mother nature has cut us a break for the past couple of days, and it's warmed up, de-icing everything and making going outside tolerable. I thought I was gonna be stranded cocooned in my insomnia bed for the whole season.

Kindle news
So I took a friend's advice and sought out more books on a site named truly-free.org (which is an oxymoron). I downloaded a few books and BOOM. It shut me off. Then, it asked for a donation. After about a week of frustration and no new books, I *thought* I donated a couple of bucks to "the burgomeister" as he calls himself. Suffice it to say that our correspondence was like a really bad breakup with a psychotic boyfriend, as he got all crazy on me. LOL. I asked him to calm down, since we were just talking semantics, and I hadn't even MENTIONED that the title of his site was "truly-free.org". Oops. I said it, and he went on a tear. I've wasted more time trying to placate "the burgomeister" than I have working. WTS BURGOMEISTER? CHILL. I did download more yesterday, as my IP addy was freed up for a period of time. So I have enough Kindle books to last me for a good month or so.

Nothing new or interesting to report besides all that. I'm trying my level best to journal at least sporadically, even if it's boring, just to keep it hoppin' around here. lol :) Seems like my friends have become as lax as *I*; so I feel it my duty to tap them on the shoulder. I'm tired of reading the same old things from the same peeps, even though today had some surprising good entries from friends who don't journal daily.

Okay. Back into the fray, until I find a good quiz or You Tube thing that needs sharing. :>

Eh gads - is /nothing/ sacred?

I hope 2010 isn't a dull repeat of 2009. I need to journal more often, particularly since Kelsey is going through so many changes and so much happens I can barely sit still. Since last year, I suddenly froze up with the journal thing, and that hasn't happened since I began this in 2002. I didn't even bother with my annual journal-in-a-minute this year. Eeeeeks.

How do you pick up on your journal when you haven't done it in ages? I don't even know where to begin, how or when. Kelsey's gone through two cars so far, has big plans for her future, and my life is as it always has been, sans the crazy stalker stuff, once I finally got caller I.D. :> I won't have to deal with that crazy daily phone call with music, and have not since it was switched on. Sorry, jackass. Have fun playing junior high with some other chick.

There have been many life-altering situations and deaths which have occurred within my inner circle, none of which was journaled. Doing it now seems pointless, as I've not kept up with ANYTHING.

I've seen friends stop journaling (and they're still silent) and used to wonder why. Now I know it's because they're living their lives instead of writing about the mundane. I know *I* get tired of hearing what someone's freakin' daily menu consists of, or what color their shirt is on a regular basis. What's worse are the ones on my list who honestly think they're good people and could not be further from the truth. We reveal SO much when we write, even when we're not cognizant of it. Perhaps especially. No, this doesn't stop me from writing as I don't feel I'm bad (except in traffic), but rather feel a detached indifference towards my own life, or keeping a record of it.

Perhaps a resolution I could've made this year would be to journal more often. Right now, I'm sick of some of the people who read it (if you think this is you, you're probably right). I've been tempted to go friend's only, but swore I'd never do that. At this point in life, I don't /want/ everyone reading this.

Recently, someone got upset over a status I had or some random quip I made on one of my sites. It was so ridiculous at how angry/upset this person was that it made me feel a little sick. If I can't write what I want to on MY OWN PAGES, then Houston, we have a problem. First, it's not anyone's business what I write or why. I shouldn't have to explain myself in a journal, on Facebook, Twitter or even my high school site. Why do I let people stifle me like this? I never used to care what anyone thought when I wrote my little thoughts down. I don't know if it's that I care right now, but rather I don't want to deal with any unhappiness involving what I write.

So while I'd love to ask a few people to just stop reading me, it won't happen.

I'm seriously thinking of moving to one of my truly anonymous journals to write, just because I can breathe again. I'd miss the interaction of my friends, but that's better than keeping everything bottled up. I've also thought about springing the $15 for an anonymous name change, but feel sure that the assholes who feel it necessary to sneak around my sites will find a way to trace me somehow (I've already thought of three ways to do this, so I'm sure they could). It's not that life is so interesting or disinteresting - it's the effect it has on some people in my life that's making me feel stifled and crazy. I'm not going to change who I am just to keep someone placated. Grow up. Man up. Don't personalize what I do since it's not about YOU, but rather, about ME.

But I digress. I'm just sick of not being able to journal for these sundry reasons. I've also been busy with my Kindle (don't wanna hear opinions on that either, since it was a thoughtful Christmas present). Reading now takes up all my free time.

Reading the friend's list is another issue entirely. I culled my list significantly last year, but feel I need to cut about five more out of the list now. I simply can't tolerate some behavior out there, and why suffer through it? It's no big deal, even though it'll be treated that way (or I'd bet - drama ALWAYS ensues when I unfriend someone).

Ja, so that's that. I don't know what I started to write when this began but now it sounds like a serious bitch fest. Maybe it is. That's okay, because it's my journal.

Should I change my name and carry my friends over, should I change my name and just be anonymous, or should I change my name and only inform friends who I really want to read and keep up with on the list?

NOTE: Since I'm leaning towards anonymously changing my name, and you're a friend of mine who doesn't have a Livejournal but still want to keep up with me (i.e., Taz, Bill, Bob Beck., Minnie, Jackie, Terri, etc.), please write me at tbastedo@aol.com so I can send you my new journal name in case I change it quickly (which is, as most know, my style).

I'm tired just thinking of it.

We rule

Alabama killed Texas' quarterback for the win.

Football is so barbaric.

And here's a good way to calm down angry airport passengers:


"I and the public know
What all schoolchildren learn,
Those to whom evil is done
Do evil in return."
-W.H. Auden

Since I've seen karma snatch someone bald-headed on my friend's list, I felt this little ditty was apropos. ;-)

Karma has now made you her bitch. Deal with it.

What the shit? This was voted the #1 most viral video on the internet. I admit that towards the end, he gets carried away, but dang. Just...WTS.

Rest of the top 100 listCollapse )

Open letter to UPS (seasonal)

Dear UPS:

You suck in general.

Love and sloppy kisses -
An incidental customer

Open letter to Bloomingdale's

Dear Bloomingdale's:

While I'm sure you think your 50% "bargains" are, indeed, bargains, the average shopper would beg to disagree. Not only are your prices ludicrous, but the quality of the fabric is questionable, as well. I can understand paying $100 for a short-sleeved, cashmere sweater (under extreme circumstances, with just the right cut), but to sell the same type shirt for $200 in a poly/cotton blend is just plain stupid.

Which brings us to Steinmart, which is happy to sell your clothes for /nothing/. When *they* have a sale, they go through your leftovers like an orka at the Christmas table, making the customers super happy to have bypassed you in their buying decisions.

Bottom line? You suck. Your sales suck. And you suck for even putting stuff out there that I can easily find on alloy.com, newport-news.com, pinkice.com, victoriassecret.com...the list goes on and on.

Get a grip on your audience. I don't even think the wealthy would want to pay your exorbitant prices.

Love and sloppy kisses -
Not a consumer and never will be

Creepers and guilt

Not only do I feel guilty for not updating, due to those of you who keep up with me, but I'm now totally creeped out by those "anonymous" visits, which far outweigh any Live Journaler visiting.

Creepers? Go away. It's not like I update anymore, so WTS?
Hahahahahahahahahaha. After watching this, click on the one with audio. When he falls down for the first time, he loudly exclaims (after saying I'm alrighhhht) that he shit his pants. LOLOL. Mkay, it's kinda sad to see someone that messed up, but still. The audio makes this three times as funny. :D

And the gratuitous quiz with which I concur:

You Have a Content Heart

Your heart doesn't crave much. It doesn't take much to make your heart happy.

You may or may not have found love, but either way, your heart is at peace.

If your heart has been broken, you are over it. Your heart has no scars.

Your heart is open to anything. You have a lot of love to give to the world.

Idea ganked from dawna

Climb in the back with your head in the Terri,
and you're gone.

Which song was this lyric from?

Get your own lyrics:

There must be an angel playing with my Terri.

Which song was this lyric from?

Get your own lyrics:

You're like a first morning Terri on a brand new day.

Which song was this lyric from?

Get your own lyrics:

I kissed a Terri and I liked it.

Which song was this lyric from?

Get your own lyrics:

Today is gonna be the day
that they're gonna throw Terri back to you.

Which song was this lyric from?

Get your own lyrics:

Hahaha. I like the last one best.

Open letter to El Jay

Dear El Jay:

If people are gonna comment, isn't it your job to let me know?

Get down off your high horse and notify me, or be punished.

Love and sloppy kisses -


I feel sick.

And lucky.
I need to pick a pair of boots/booties to wear with this outfit. Should I go with...

boots or should I go with the booties?

I know they're blurry, but it was a spontaneous photo thing, and I just need to see which suit this skirt/top combo best. The booties are really cute, but you can't tell by this pic.


I'm unnaturally happy today

Probably because I survived the freakin' swine flu. Was kinda worried there for awhile. So of course, I celebrate by TAKING A QUIZ. :D

Your Fashion Style is Classic

Some people may argue that those with a classic style like yours don't care about fashion, but that couldn't be further from the truth.

The key to having a effective classic look is making sure all your classic items are well tailored and look modern.

No one can rock a basic suit or white buttoned shirt with jeans like you can. You have the confidence it takes to avoid trends completely.

And by sticking to what has or what will stand the test of time, you always can find something to wear. It's very rare that anything in your closet has fallen out of fashion.


A big thanks goes out to dawna for sending me a boo-tiful Halloweeny present :D :D I've been sick for three days now, so it was a welcome and cute surprise :) :)

Wisdom, reprinted

Feel free to share with your friends, as these are some good bits of wisdom :D

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'

'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'

Puff! She's gone...

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'

The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'

'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients...'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch..

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:

Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him..

Morals of the story:

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

Share these with your friends, and give 'em a good smile :D

I know it's a cop-out =p

You Are Red

You are a very warm and passionate person. You are never at a loss for words when talking about how much you love something or someone.

You feel strongly, and luckily, most of your strong feelings are positive ones. You love many things in this world.

It's very important that you are able to follow your passions. It would drive you crazy to be stuck in a job or place you found boring.

You have twice as much energy as most people. And it's a good thing too, because you have twice as many things you want to do in your life!

The plan

Okay, here's the plan. The shoes/booties I want for the holidays are out of my budget. But if everyone on my friend's list gives me $1.50, I can get them.


Chinee Foo!

I had to take this one, and LOVE sweet and sour pork :> This quiz was RIGHT ON. Creepy.

You Are Sweet and Sour Pork

You are a highly emotional and sometimes even volatile person. You tend to be extremely unpredictable.

One moment you're sweet. The next moment you're sour. And who's to say that you can't be both at once.

You tend to order erratically and unusually off the menu of life. You go with your gut, and sometimes your gut is in the mood for some pretty weird combinations.

You've had some pretty crazy adventures in your life, without even trying you. You just go with what you are feeling, no matter where it leads you.

Me ruv you wrong tie.


I just learned that Bauhaus was at City Stages in 2006.




Jeremy Sisto just married Addie Lane. He's off the market, at least for now. She and I could be sisters O.o Just sayin'...WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH.

Nothing to fear but fear itself

What is your biggest fear? Have you tried to overcome it?

My biggest fear is trusting. I still haven't found a good way to get over it, or deal with it, since I'm gullible and encountered really shady/shoddy people even at this age. I do, happily, have a handful of people I trust implicitely, but it still doesn't even out. I'm not a skeptic; I'm simply anti-social :D And even though I do have a handful that I trust, I never really divulge everything, out of pride or independence. If I tell someone a serious truth, I definitely expect them to covet and respect it, since it's so rare.


Don't you just want - upon seeing some ridiculous prices - to write them and say "good luck making THAT much for your crappy item"? and "...I'll see ya in the clearance rack"?

That, or laugh in their faces.

Srsly though.
1.) Have you ever not done something you would have done 10 years ago because you were afraid of injuring yourself? I have always done what I was inclined to do, despite the hazards/dangers of doing so. Typical thrill-seeker.

2.) Have you ever injured yourself doing something you knew you shouldn't have? A few times. I usually calculate the risk and adjust accordingly.

3.) Have you ever followed a trend or fashion that is popular with the younger crowd and looked completely ridiculous doing it? My daughter and friends think I dress "cool" and I'm complimented by my own peer group; so I suppose my own personal style is okay :D

4.) Have you ever been told you are too old to do something? If so, what and by whom? Never. When that day occurs, somebody's gonna lose an eye (or E...except after sea).

SPICY BONUS: During sex (you all remember sex, right?) have you ever thought about the possibility of injuring yourself or your partner? Thought about it, had it done, done it, been there, done...well, you get it. lol What's a little injury compared to the joy? :D

It's all about calculation, I'm thinkin'.

Can't help myself

And this one is dead on -

Your Best Trait is Creativity

You may seem like you're a bit flaky or flighty, but you're really just deep in thought.

You are the artistic type, no doubt. However, you are also highly analytical and logical.

You are able to solve problems in unique and interesting ways. Your ideas are unpredictable, but they always end up making sense.

You are picky and sometimes downright critical. You expect the best of yourself, but others are not prepared for your exacting standards.

I think anyone who falls in the center-of-the-brain bracket (7% of population) would come up with these results.

Right after I made the phone entry yesterday, he called back. Next time, either speak up or play the whole song.

Mysterious phone calls

Until today, I'd been receiving these weird phone calls from someone who would either sit there (once, for two hours) or play music on the phone for an hour.

This person isn't secret anymore.

Psst - if you're gonna call have the balls to /say/ something.


Wow. Upon reading my friends list, I realize that not only did *I* stop journaling, but it seems the majority of my friends have stopped, too.

What ran us all off (besides that offensive stench that I finally rid myself of once and for all 2 years' ago)?

I have three friends who regularly update and that's it. Oooooooo El Jay - you ain't as purdy as you used to be.

When enough is enough

Mkay...it's not wise to EVER ask a question in an open journal and expect everyone to lie and make you feel better. At the very least (to save your lil feelings), screen your comments (as I will to this one, in case anyone takes it personal). Am I mean for saying this? No. Anyone who thinks so is naive.

Some of us jump in and tell the cold, hard truth.

AND YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! (It had to be said...floggings shall commence at 5 p.m., at which time I'll be semi-conscious.)
I'm hungry.

She Wants Revenge

Tear You Apart

Got a big plan, his mind's set, maybe it's right
At the right place and right time, maybe tonight
In a whisper or handshake sending a sign
Wanna make out and kiss hard, wait never mind

Late night, in passing, mention it flip to her
Best friend, it's nothing, maybe it slipped
but the slip turns to terror and a crush to like
when she walked in he froze up, leave it to fright

It's cute in a way, till you cannot speak
And you leave to have a cigarette, knees get weak
escape was just a nod and a casual wave
Obsess about it, heavy for the next two days

It's only just a crush, it'll go away
It's just like all the others it'll go away
Or maybe this is danger and you just don't know
You pray it all away but it continues to grow

I want to hold you close
Skin pressed against me tight
Lie still, and close your eyes girl
So lovely, it feels so right

I want to hold you close
Soft breath, beating heart
As I whisper in your ear
I want to freakin' tear you apart

Then he walked up and told her, thinking maybe it'd pass

And they talked and looked away a lot, doing the dance
Her hand brushed up against his, she left it there
Told him how she felt and then they locked in a stare

They took a step back, thought about it, what should they do
Cause there are always repercussions when you're dating in school
But their lips met, and reservations started to pass
Whether this was just an evening or a thing that would last

Either way he wanted her and this was bad
Wanted to do things to her it was making him crazy
Now a little crush turned into a like
And now he wants to grab her by the hair and tell her

I want to hold you close
Skin pressed against me tight
Lie still, and close your eyes girl
So lovely, it feels so right

I want to hold you close
Soft breath, beating heart
As I whisper in your ear
I wanna freakin' tear you apart.

It's 3 a.m. and I feel...followed

Driving home last night after exhausting reset off of Highway 280, this Escalade was driving side by side with me. We finally come to a red light.

She: That drop top's hot.

Me (reaching up to feel): It's probably just humidity from that little storm that hit us a couple of hours' ago (thinking it's on fire now).

She: No, no, the drop top's hot.

Me: Ohhhhhhhh okay; you like my car.

She: Yeah!

Those people from Georgia, I swear. One of the guys in the back seat was begging (seriously) for me to come with them to a local bar. Drinks were on him! lol I begged them off, but they still drove side by side with me, trying to get me to party with them. WTH. I was sweaty and sore and ready for bed.

I dunno about all that...

Deep Down You Are Sensitive

You're the type of person who notices everything and forgets nothing. You are very in tune with the world.

You feel deeply, and sometimes the silliest things can effect you. You are easily brought to laughter or tears.

You don't show the world how fragile you are. You instead show people how insightful you can be.

You are good at anticipating what's going to happen in your life. You are often the first one to see what's coming.

Agree with this, only they never LEAVE

You Fall for the Sexy Daredevil Type

You can't help but be drawn to someone who's likely to break your heart. You're very attracted to danger.

You like a relationship with lots of passion, thrills, and even a few ups and downs.

For you, physical attraction and chemistry go a long way. You need to feel a spark immediately in order to be interested in someone.

Looks alone won't cut it though... They're just the starting point. You need intensity all the way down to the core!

I'm doing a piss poor job of keeping my journal updated as I'd planned, but I have done some private entries. Then again, anyone who might read this couldn't give a sheize. lol :)

The Ffffffffreitag Fiver

1. What did you dream of being when you were a little child? Professional ice skater :)

2. What did you think you might become when you were between the ages of 12-13? Professional softball pitcher

3. What career choices did you consider as a young adult? Writer/Journalist

4. Did you follow along one of the career paths you considered? Yeppers, I did

5. Have you changed careers since then? Was it by choice or necessity? I spent many glorious years in my chosen trade and am now writing for me only. So by choice is the answer, although probably a poor one (well, I'm writing one column but it hardly counts).

You Are the 1990s

You are a honest, down to earth, and somewhat sarcastic person. You don't front.

You appreciate the cynical days of the 1990s, when irony was king.

You're somewhat skeptical and mocking of the mainstream. You tend to embrace alternative culture instead.

You are open minded and accepting. You don't judge people as long as they're real with you.

Commitment (edit uno)

I seriously need to recommit myself to journaling daily. So much has happened this year - lots of it life-altering and crucial - and I've not journaled it, or saved small snippets to remind me of these things in private entries.

Geez. It's like I'm scared to write about daily activities. And forgive me, but I gave up trying to catch up on my friends after going back 450 entries. UnREAL. I'm sick of some of my comms. Might be sick of some of my friends. Wahahaha. *cough*


'Nuff said. Local girl tries to do good and fails.

Yay for surprise phone calls from cool El Jay friends (pssst ayoub). :D :D


Eye see, Open your eyes
Creeping Through The Cellar Door

Latest Month

June 2019


Here is Belladonna, the Lady of the Rocks,
The lady of situations.
Here is the man with three staves, and here the Wheel,
And here is the one-eyed merchant, and this card
Which is blank, is something that he carries on his back,
Which I am forbidden to see. I do not find
The Hanged Man. Fear death by water.
I see crowds of people, walking round in a ring.
Thank you. If you see dear Mrs. Equitone,
Tell her I bring the horoscope myself;

One must be so careful these days.


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